1 00:00:03,760 --> 00:00:06,274 2 00:00:07,400 --> 00:00:10,358 3 00:00:11,080 --> 00:00:15,039 but you don't ask questions 4 00:00:15,200 --> 00:00:17,953 5 00:00:18,960 --> 00:00:22,157 6 00:00:22,320 --> 00:00:26,075 and the tides of the sea 7 00:00:26,240 --> 00:00:29,676 8 00:00:30,160 --> 00:00:33,551 9 00:00:43,600 --> 00:00:49,198 (RADIO) ..colder and showers turning wintry almost everywhere by tonight... 10 00:00:49,360 --> 00:00:53,877 Derek! Your breakfast has been on the table for the last 15 minutes! 11 00:00:54,800 --> 00:00:57,155 — Is that nice? - Yes, thank you. 12 00:00:57,320 --> 00:00:59,755 I was talking to Damien. 13 00:00:59,920 --> 00:01:02,594 (SQUELCHING) 14 00:01:02,760 --> 00:01:07,311 Next time you do the shopping, buy the ketchup in a glass bottle. 15 00:01:07,480 --> 00:01:12,316 And please stop boiling your old vests and pants on our cooker! 16 00:01:13,440 --> 00:01:16,956 This is almost the 21st century and we have washing machines. 17 00:01:17,120 --> 00:01:21,432 Raquel, why are you angry at me? I'm not the one coming home late. 18 00:01:21,600 --> 00:01:25,150 - I'm always here in the flat. — Yes, aren't you just! 19 00:01:27,920 --> 00:01:30,514 — Good morning, Unc. Ah! Ooh! - Morning. 20 00:01:30,680 --> 00:01:33,240 Oh, this bloody tooth! Ooh! 21 00:01:33,400 --> 00:01:35,789 Hello, Champ! Good morning. 22 00:01:35,960 --> 00:01:38,793 How are you this morning? This looks good. 23 00:01:38,960 --> 00:01:43,875 — Raquel's on the warpath. — She don't frighten me, Albert. 24 00:01:44,040 --> 00:01:46,600 I've handled more violent women than her. 25 00:01:46,760 --> 00:01:48,080 Ooh! 26 00:01:48,240 --> 00:01:52,473 Good morning, sweetheart! Any calls for me last night, was there? 27 00:01:52,640 --> 00:01:56,315 I went to bed early. Why don't you get an answering machine? 28 00:01:56,480 --> 00:02:01,156 Good idea, darling. Just what the business needs is an answer phone. 29 00:02:01,320 --> 00:02:04,676 Especially as you're too exhausted to do it. 30 00:02:04,840 --> 00:02:08,629 Damien's a bit big for that chair. He'll be starting work soon! 31 00:02:08,800 --> 00:02:11,997 — There's nothing wrong with it. — Exactly. 32 00:02:12,160 --> 00:02:15,869 It's in very good nick. I might get a few quid for that. 33 00:02:16,040 --> 00:02:18,839 I'll put an ad in the local newsagent's. 34 00:02:19,000 --> 00:02:23,710 — What time did you get in last night? — Me? Ooh, about quarter past twelve. 35 00:02:23,880 --> 00:02:27,111 — It was twenty to two! —- Was it?! 36 00:02:27,280 --> 00:02:30,432 The battery's going in this watch. 37 00:02:31,600 --> 00:02:34,638 — So, where were you? - Hmm? Um... 38 00:02:34,800 --> 00:02:41,991 I went down the Nag's Head, had a swift half, and then I had to meet someone in the...casino. 39 00:02:42,160 --> 00:02:46,393 That's a relief. I was worried you might be squandering our money (') 40 00:02:46,560 --> 00:02:48,517 — How much did you win? - Shut up! 41 00:02:48,680 --> 00:02:52,594 Don't be silly. Del doesn't know what winning is! 42 00:02:52,760 --> 00:02:57,960 — Eat your breakfast, Del. - You said this fried stuff was bad for me veins. 43 00:02:58,120 --> 00:03:00,680 Eat your breakfast, Del! 44 00:03:01,600 --> 00:03:06,436 — She's not happy, son. — Well...she's a woman, isn't she? 45 00:03:06,600 --> 00:03:08,955 It takes me mind off me tooth. 46 00:03:09,120 --> 00:03:12,829 I don't know. What with you and poor Rodney. 47 00:03:13,000 --> 00:03:17,995 — He's starting to look ashen—faced. — He does look a bit cream—crackered. 48 00:03:18,160 --> 00:03:23,553 Don't worry. I'll have a word with him. I usually manage to sort out his problems. 49 00:03:23,720 --> 00:03:25,950 (SQUELCHING) 50 00:03:27,080 --> 00:03:30,516 (PHONE RINGS) 51 00:03:33,200 --> 00:03:35,999 - Hello? — Cassandra, it's Raquel. 52 00:03:36,160 --> 00:03:39,391 — Can you talk? Rodney's not there? — He's left for work. 53 00:03:39,560 --> 00:03:43,633 — What did the doctor say last night? — She was ever so nice. 54 00:03:43,800 --> 00:03:48,795 She's got three couples who've been trying for babies for over a year. 55 00:03:48,960 --> 00:03:51,634 So Rodney and I are almost rookies! 56 00:03:51,800 --> 00:03:55,350 I've got to take my temperature hourly, keep a chart. 57 00:03:55,520 --> 00:03:58,512 And I've got exercises that strengthen the muscles. 58 00:03:58,680 --> 00:04:02,389 Have you abandoned that schedule she worked out for you? 59 00:04:02,560 --> 00:04:07,919 How do you keep up the pace? It sounded excessive even for Mel Gibson! 60 00:04:08,080 --> 00:04:13,519 I've decided to continue with that. It hasn't worked, but Rodney's enjoyed trying! 61 00:04:15,160 --> 00:04:19,040 — All right, Rodney? — Yeah, all right, Mick. 62 00:04:19,200 --> 00:04:23,433 What you been up to? You look like a vampire's been at you! 63 00:04:23,600 --> 00:04:28,037 - I'm fine, thank you. — You weren't in that riot, were you? 64 00:04:28,200 --> 00:04:31,909 No, I was not! As if I'd get involved in a riot! 65 00:04:32,080 --> 00:04:36,119 You don't look well. He looks shagged out, don't he, love? 66 00:04:36,280 --> 00:04:41,992 — You don't look well, dear. — There's nothing wrong with me, all right? 67 00:04:42,160 --> 00:04:45,994 - You haven't mentioned this to Del? — Course not. 68 00:04:46,160 --> 00:04:49,551 Rodney wants to choose the right time to tell him. 69 00:04:49,720 --> 00:04:52,758 - I'll leave it to you. — How are things with you and Del? 70 00:04:52,920 --> 00:04:56,356 The same. He didn't get in till twenty to two. 71 00:04:56,520 --> 00:04:59,034 Ask Rodney to find out what's happening. 72 00:04:59,200 --> 00:05:02,238 I'm frightened of what the answer might be. 73 00:05:02,400 --> 00:05:06,234 The first flush of fatherhood has cooled. He's back to his old ways. 74 00:05:06,400 --> 00:05:08,960 Down the pub and casino with his mates. 75 00:05:09,120 --> 00:05:11,794 Someone's coming. Talk to you soon. Bye. 76 00:05:13,720 --> 00:05:17,918 — He's dropped beans on the carpet. — Why don't YOU wipe them up? 77 00:05:18,080 --> 00:05:21,391 Me?! Let the old git wipe 'em up himself! 78 00:05:21,560 --> 00:05:23,676 Oh, Albert. 79 00:05:24,640 --> 00:05:28,235 — Have you spoken to Cassandra recently? - No. 80 00:05:28,400 --> 00:05:32,314 When you do, find out if anything's wrong between her and Rodders. 81 00:05:32,480 --> 00:05:34,790 Don't interfere in their lives, Del. 82 00:05:34,960 --> 00:05:40,034 He's my brother. I've got a right to interfere. If there's a problem, I want to help. 83 00:05:40,200 --> 00:05:43,113 Oh, God! That is the best yet! 84 00:05:43,760 --> 00:05:46,400 Time for your wash. 85 00:05:47,760 --> 00:05:49,956 Not you, Albert! 86 00:05:50,120 --> 00:05:53,511 If you're doing this to annoy me, it's not working. 87 00:05:56,960 --> 00:05:59,918 Makes you wonder if it's all worthwhile. 88 00:06:00,080 --> 00:06:02,754 — If you say so, son. - Ido... 89 00:06:03,920 --> 00:06:06,958 The mucky old sod! 90 00:06:07,120 --> 00:06:09,919 I picked this up at the library yesterday. 91 00:06:10,080 --> 00:06:13,960 — "Relate." — The new word for Marriage Guidance. 92 00:06:14,120 --> 00:06:17,556 — ls it any good to you? — Thanks very much, Unc. 93 00:06:17,720 --> 00:06:20,519 It's just the thing I'm looking for. 94 00:06:25,600 --> 00:06:29,195 I'm just going to make a private phone call. 95 00:06:38,960 --> 00:06:41,190 (LIFT BELL DINGS) 96 00:06:52,480 --> 00:06:55,040 (PHONE RINGS) 97 00:06:57,160 --> 00:07:00,471 - Hello? — Hello. Cassandra? 98 00:07:00,640 --> 00:07:03,712 — It's Del Boy. How are you? — I'm fine, thanks. 99 00:07:03,880 --> 00:07:09,080 Cushti. Look, Cassandra, I don't want to interfere or anything like that, 100 00:07:09,240 --> 00:07:12,517 but I'm a little bit worried about young Rodders. 101 00:07:12,680 --> 00:07:17,231 He's not his old self. I wondered if I could do anything to help. 102 00:07:17,400 --> 00:07:22,076 Look, if you must know, Del, Rodney and I are trying for a baby. 103 00:07:22,240 --> 00:07:25,153 (SHE PANTS HEAVILY) 104 00:07:30,040 --> 00:07:32,350 I'll get off the phone, then! 105 00:07:34,080 --> 00:07:36,799 No, not right now! 106 00:07:37,560 --> 00:07:41,599 Rodney's not even here! He left half an hour ago. 107 00:07:41,760 --> 00:07:45,719 Blimey! He left half an hour ago and you're still panting?! 108 00:07:46,520 --> 00:07:49,353 I'm in the middle of my exercises! 109 00:07:50,520 --> 00:07:55,276 Oh, your exercises! I thought that you were... Never mind what I thought. 110 00:07:55,440 --> 00:08:00,594 But, um... I can't help you unless you let me know what is happening. 111 00:08:00,760 --> 00:08:02,637 Oh, God! 112 00:08:03,720 --> 00:08:05,472 - All right? - Yeah. 113 00:08:05,640 --> 00:08:08,519 — Where is everyone? — Raquel's seeing to the little 'un. 114 00:08:08,680 --> 00:08:12,389 — Del's in the kitchen making a private call. — who to? 115 00:08:12,560 --> 00:08:15,951 - I think it's Marriage Guidance. - They aren't married. 116 00:08:16,120 --> 00:08:20,512 No, but they row, don't they? I'll make you a new pot of tea, son. 117 00:08:20,680 --> 00:08:22,159 Cheers. 118 00:08:22,320 --> 00:08:29,317 (DEL) You see the thing is, a man — any man — can, in fact, lose his drive. 119 00:08:32,080 --> 00:08:34,674 Rodney hasn't lost his drive. 120 00:08:34,840 --> 00:08:37,275 No, I'm not saying that IS happening. 121 00:08:37,440 --> 00:08:41,593 All I'm saying is that a man — you know, any man — 122 00:08:41,760 --> 00:08:45,799 can, well, you know, lose his oomph. 123 00:08:47,960 --> 00:08:51,715 Naturally, the woman becomes frustrated and disappointed. 124 00:08:51,880 --> 00:08:54,998 But that's not necessarily the man's fault. 125 00:08:56,920 --> 00:08:59,958 — Oh! Morning, Raquel. - Morning. 126 00:09:00,120 --> 00:09:02,111 — Where's Del? - On the phone. 127 00:09:02,280 --> 00:09:04,669 — who to? — Don't know. 128 00:09:04,840 --> 00:09:07,150 So, how's life treating you? 129 00:09:07,320 --> 00:09:11,473 How's life treating me? You mean besides him coming in at all hours, 130 00:09:11,640 --> 00:09:15,110 spending his time down the pub and wasting money in the casino? 131 00:09:15,280 --> 00:09:16,679 Yeah. 132 00:09:17,600 --> 00:09:20,831 I'll give you an example of how life's treating me. 133 00:09:21,000 --> 00:09:24,038 — Have you seen inside my wardrobe? - No. 134 00:09:24,200 --> 00:09:29,400 Well, the only time my clothes look fashionable is when I watch UK Gold. 135 00:09:31,040 --> 00:09:36,274 A short while ago, Del mentioned he had a contact in the rag trade. 136 00:09:36,440 --> 00:09:40,991 This fella could get the very latest in fashion and top designer labels. 137 00:09:41,160 --> 00:09:46,314 Christmas was approaching. Del asked me what I'd like. "Anything you want." 138 00:09:46,480 --> 00:09:50,838 So I said I wouldn't mind a little number by Bruce Oldfield. 139 00:09:55,960 --> 00:09:58,713 He got me "Tubular Bells". 140 00:09:58,880 --> 00:10:01,349 — That's Mike Oldfield. - I know! 141 00:10:01,520 --> 00:10:05,832 Listen, all you've gotta do, sweetheart, is just take your time. 142 00:10:06,000 --> 00:10:11,473 Just take your time and you'll have a lovely, healthy baby just like my Damien. 143 00:10:11,640 --> 00:10:14,792 Nine pounds, he was, you know. Yeah. 144 00:10:14,960 --> 00:10:17,998 I remember the day that he was born. 145 00:10:18,160 --> 00:10:23,439 Me and Raquel haven't given up hope of doing it again some time. 146 00:10:24,120 --> 00:10:29,638 — What's a baby's weight got to do with it? - No, it doesn't matter how big it is! 147 00:10:31,640 --> 00:10:35,076 — Who are you talking to? — Cassandra. 148 00:10:37,840 --> 00:10:41,834 — Get off that phone! — Morning, Rodders. 149 00:10:42,000 --> 00:10:45,470 Cassandra, why are you discussing our private life with him? 150 00:10:45,640 --> 00:10:48,632 This'lL be all over the Nag's Head by dinner time! 151 00:10:49,640 --> 00:10:53,599 — That's the thanks I get. — I thought you'd be used to it by now! 152 00:11:03,000 --> 00:11:07,676 (DEL) They haven't cleared this place up yet. (RODNEY) There's no point. 153 00:11:07,840 --> 00:11:11,356 They're expecting another riot. Anything could set it off. 154 00:11:11,520 --> 00:11:15,798 They're thinking of twinning this place with Jurassic Park! 155 00:11:16,800 --> 00:11:20,191 — Ow! Bloody "ell. — You wanna go somewhere with that. 156 00:11:20,360 --> 00:11:24,479 I go everywhere with it, don't 1? It's stuck in me bloody head. 157 00:11:24,640 --> 00:11:27,837 — I meant the dentist's. — Yes, I will. 158 00:11:30,400 --> 00:11:34,598 — Can I switch the radio on? — Yeah, go on, if you like. 159 00:11:34,760 --> 00:11:37,878 (MUSIC: "ONE VOICE") 160 00:11:38,040 --> 00:11:39,917 161 00:11:40,080 --> 00:11:42,833 162 00:11:43,000 --> 00:11:46,675 — This is Raquel's most favourite number. - Yeah? 163 00:11:46,840 --> 00:11:49,400 Can I switch it off? 164 00:11:49,560 --> 00:11:51,915 No! Leave it. 165 00:11:55,400 --> 00:12:00,315 Every time I hear this number, it always reminds me of my Raquel. 166 00:12:01,200 --> 00:12:03,396 Yeah, switch it off. 167 00:12:05,760 --> 00:12:09,276 There you go, Denzil. One bowl of piping hot porridge. 168 00:12:09,440 --> 00:12:12,990 - That'll warm you up on a cold morning. — Cheers, Sid. 169 00:12:13,160 --> 00:12:16,471 — There's a hair in this. — Give us it here. 170 00:12:18,400 --> 00:12:21,040 There's another one. 171 00:12:22,440 --> 00:12:24,192 Hang on. 172 00:12:25,160 --> 00:12:30,189 That's disgusting. If the health authority saw this, they'd close you down. 173 00:12:30,360 --> 00:12:33,716 I've been closed down for a lot worse than that! 174 00:12:33,880 --> 00:12:36,235 — I hate politically correct people. - Yeah. 175 00:12:36,400 --> 00:12:40,792 — What are you having, Trig? - I'll try some of that porridge. 176 00:12:44,000 --> 00:12:47,197 There's Denzil. Get me a cup of tea, will you? 177 00:12:48,200 --> 00:12:50,032 All right, Denz? 178 00:12:50,200 --> 00:12:53,397 — Two teas, Sid. — All right, Dave? 179 00:12:54,360 --> 00:12:56,033 Yeah, all right, Trig. 180 00:12:56,200 --> 00:12:59,670 Don't have the porridge, Rodney. I found hairs in mine. 181 00:12:59,840 --> 00:13:03,834 — It was only two hairs. — That's enough, isn't it? 182 00:13:04,720 --> 00:13:07,599 Maybe there's a sporran in it! 183 00:13:07,760 --> 00:13:11,515 — Got all your Christmas presents? — No, not yet. 184 00:13:11,680 --> 00:13:15,196 — Damien wants a pet. — The council don't allow pets. 185 00:13:15,360 --> 00:13:19,115 Only a little one, like a rabbit or a guinea pig. 186 00:13:19,280 --> 00:13:22,511 — How's it going, Del? — Don't ask, Trig. 187 00:13:22,680 --> 00:13:25,240 — Things the same? — Still giving me strife. 188 00:13:25,400 --> 00:13:29,871 — It's a bitch, innit? — That's stronging it a bit, Trig! 189 00:13:30,040 --> 00:13:32,156 You're too soft, Del. 190 00:13:32,320 --> 00:13:34,789 I've been in the same boat as you. 191 00:13:34,960 --> 00:13:40,831 — And I got shot of it. — It's not as simple as just get shut of it! 192 00:13:41,000 --> 00:13:45,119 Del loves... Well, a strong bond exists, doesn't it? 193 00:13:45,280 --> 00:13:49,478 — We've been together a long time. - You'll just get more aggro. 194 00:13:49,640 --> 00:13:54,555 I know how you feel. You become attached to 'em, give 'em pet names. 195 00:13:54,720 --> 00:13:58,190 Take my advice. Get down the dentist and have it out. 196 00:14:00,160 --> 00:14:01,753 The tooth! 197 00:14:01,920 --> 00:14:07,359 It's best in the long run. Try my dentist. He's good. I've been going for years. 198 00:14:07,520 --> 00:14:10,399 All right. I might try that, Trig. 199 00:14:10,560 --> 00:14:13,996 We were talking about Del and Raquel. Are you still rowing? 200 00:14:14,160 --> 00:14:17,994 — He's never there to find out! — No! 201 00:14:18,160 --> 00:14:21,551 She's still talking to me, unfortunately! 202 00:14:21,720 --> 00:14:25,156 I'll never understand the workings of a woman's mind. 203 00:14:25,320 --> 00:14:29,200 I suppose that's why I gave up trying in the end. 204 00:14:29,360 --> 00:14:34,036 — Here, who was that bird I used to go out with? — Which one? 205 00:14:34,200 --> 00:14:36,794 Ooh, what was her name? 206 00:14:38,600 --> 00:14:40,716 — What did she look like? — Redhead. 207 00:14:40,880 --> 00:14:44,555 — One of the redheads. Pauline? - No. 208 00:14:44,720 --> 00:14:46,393 — Veronique? - No. 209 00:14:46,560 --> 00:14:48,517 — Janine? — Her?! 210 00:14:48,680 --> 00:14:51,115 — Marian? — Who's Marian? 211 00:14:51,280 --> 00:14:55,672 You met her at Catford dog track. You bought her a ring. 212 00:14:56,320 --> 00:15:01,633 Oh, yeah! No, not her. The one I'm thinking about, her dad was a tattooist. 213 00:15:01,800 --> 00:15:07,796 She had this tattoo of a heart with a dagger going through it on her thigh. 214 00:15:07,960 --> 00:15:12,557 — Don't ring a bell. — You would have only been about two! 215 00:15:12,720 --> 00:15:16,839 She worked in a betting shop down Lewisham Grove. 216 00:15:17,000 --> 00:15:19,594 — Betting shop... — Down Lewisham Grove. 217 00:15:19,760 --> 00:15:21,831 Look, it don't matter. 218 00:15:22,000 --> 00:15:26,756 I went out with her for about... Must have been a month. 219 00:15:26,920 --> 00:15:32,120 Actually, she was going steady with another bloke. Made it more exciting. 220 00:15:32,280 --> 00:15:36,956 She was a sporting girl, a good all-rounder. Know what I mean? 221 00:15:38,560 --> 00:15:42,235 I'd saved up me money to take her on holiday. 222 00:15:42,400 --> 00:15:45,791 It was gonna be exotic, the holiday of a lifetime. 223 00:15:45,960 --> 00:15:50,591 When all of a sudden, right out the blue, for no reason, she packed me in. 224 00:15:50,760 --> 00:15:52,910 And yet the night before, 225 00:15:53,080 --> 00:15:57,756 I had taken her home to meet my mum and dad for the first time. 226 00:16:02,600 --> 00:16:07,629 So next day I went down the betting shop to have a chat with her 227 00:16:07,800 --> 00:16:09,950 and they said she weren't there. 228 00:16:10,120 --> 00:16:14,751 But I knew she was because I saw her crash helmet hanging on the hook. 229 00:16:14,920 --> 00:16:17,434 You know where I found her? 230 00:16:17,600 --> 00:16:21,480 She was hiding on the roof. She said she was sunbathing. 231 00:16:21,640 --> 00:16:26,430 — Maybe she was sunbathing. — It was a sloping roof. 232 00:16:26,600 --> 00:16:32,357 There she was with her back against the tiles and her stilettos jammed in the gutter. 233 00:16:34,640 --> 00:16:37,439 She nearly fell off twice. 234 00:16:37,600 --> 00:16:42,197 Anyway, that was that. Cor blimey, what was her name? 235 00:16:44,840 --> 00:16:48,117 Did you get your money back on the holiday? 236 00:16:48,280 --> 00:16:51,830 No. You know what these caravan sites are like! 237 00:17:15,520 --> 00:17:19,753 — Del Boy. — Rodders! What are you doing here? 238 00:17:19,920 --> 00:17:24,153 I had a couple of hours to kill, so I said to Cass I'd pop down and see Del. 239 00:17:24,320 --> 00:17:28,075 'Ere, Miguel. Lager—top, please. 240 00:17:29,080 --> 00:17:34,837 — You're drinking a lot of Scotch these days. — It's the only thing that dulls the pain. 241 00:17:35,000 --> 00:17:40,154 Talk to her, Del. There's nothing that can't be sorted by talking it out. 242 00:17:40,320 --> 00:17:43,119 Not Raquel! I mean my bloody tooth! 243 00:17:43,280 --> 00:17:46,716 — Well, go to the dentist. — I don't like dentists. 244 00:17:46,880 --> 00:17:50,157 — Then get septicaemia! — Shut up moaning, will ya? 245 00:17:50,320 --> 00:17:53,631 I'm psyching myself up for the game and you lecture me. 246 00:17:53,800 --> 00:17:57,316 It's like playing poker with Neil Kinnock! 247 00:17:57,480 --> 00:17:58,993 Here you are. 248 00:17:59,160 --> 00:18:03,597 — Del Boy. Rodney. — How's it going, Boycie? 249 00:18:03,760 --> 00:18:07,754 Life is one long, uphill struggle at the moment, Derek. 250 00:18:07,920 --> 00:18:12,710 The second—hand car business is in its biggest slump since...the last one. 251 00:18:12,880 --> 00:18:16,919 Me and Marlene could only afford one week in Barbados this year. 252 00:18:17,080 --> 00:18:22,678 Oh, that's terrible, innit? Don't go on about it. You know how easy I cry! 253 00:18:22,840 --> 00:18:26,879 — we'll have to hold a whip for him. — Can I count the lashes? 254 00:18:28,280 --> 00:18:33,639 I happen to believe everyone has the right to expect a certain standard of living. 255 00:18:33,800 --> 00:18:36,792 It's all right for you coming from that council estate. 256 00:18:36,960 --> 00:18:39,952 Sometimes I almost envy you. 257 00:18:40,120 --> 00:18:45,069 Not often, I must admit. Especially with all the problems you've got. 258 00:18:45,240 --> 00:18:49,359 We ain't got no problems. Raquel and I are just going through a sticky patch. 259 00:18:49,520 --> 00:18:53,718 When I mentioned problems, I was referring to that riot the other night. 260 00:18:53,880 --> 00:18:59,432 I hear they went through the estate looking for any half—decent car, then set fire to it. 261 00:18:59,600 --> 00:19:02,592 Your three—wheel van all right, was it? 262 00:19:02,760 --> 00:19:05,957 Yes, thank you. They didn't lay a finger on it. 263 00:19:06,120 --> 00:19:08,714 That's a godsend, at least (!) 264 00:19:08,880 --> 00:19:11,872 Only 'cause I know the leader of the rioters. 265 00:19:12,040 --> 00:19:16,238 Terrible, innit? The way they set fire to their own people's property 266 00:19:16,400 --> 00:19:19,472 when there's a big car site just up the road. 267 00:19:19,640 --> 00:19:23,599 — That's Boycie's car site, Derek. - Is it? 268 00:19:23,760 --> 00:19:27,594 Let's hope someone does not suggest that to the rioters. 269 00:19:27,760 --> 00:19:31,355 Er... Miguel, can you get my friends a drink? 270 00:19:31,520 --> 00:19:34,194 Same again. Put it on my account. 271 00:19:34,360 --> 00:19:37,159 Well, I must be off. Lots of luck! 272 00:19:37,320 --> 00:19:39,470 Cheers, Boycie. 273 00:19:41,040 --> 00:19:42,599 Miguel. 274 00:19:48,800 --> 00:19:51,792 — Cor blimey! - Eh? 275 00:19:53,560 --> 00:19:57,554 I dunno about my teeth. I think my eyes need testing. 276 00:20:00,280 --> 00:20:05,719 I turned round a bit quick then and I thought Right Said Fred had just walked in! 277 00:20:15,200 --> 00:20:16,599 — Good night. — Good night. 278 00:20:16,760 --> 00:20:20,833 ("CRIMEWATCH" THEME TUNE PLAYS) 279 00:20:30,400 --> 00:20:34,155 — Aren't you gonna have a bet? — No! It's a mug's game! 280 00:20:34,320 --> 00:20:37,870 The only one who wins is the casino owner. 281 00:20:39,840 --> 00:20:43,549 — Sorry, what were you saying? — So you were lucky. 282 00:20:43,720 --> 00:20:47,236 - You've won. So let's go home. — No, I'm on a roll. 283 00:20:47,400 --> 00:20:49,755 I'll play the evens. 284 00:20:49,920 --> 00:20:53,390 Will you spare one moment's thought for Raquel? 285 00:20:53,560 --> 00:20:57,679 Who do you think I'm doing this for? For her and Damien. 286 00:20:57,840 --> 00:21:01,435 I couldn't say before because I didn't want word to get out. 287 00:21:01,600 --> 00:21:04,991 I'm trying to put down a big deal with Ronnie Nelson. 288 00:21:05,680 --> 00:21:08,638 So why are you at this club most nights? 289 00:21:08,800 --> 00:21:11,918 He owns it! He don't come in before one in the morning. 290 00:21:12,080 --> 00:21:18,076 I've gotta hang about to have a word with him. I can't let this deal slip through my fingers. 291 00:21:18,240 --> 00:21:22,677 Tell you what it is. It's 650 hand-held camcorders. 292 00:21:24,280 --> 00:21:28,513 — Made in Russia. — Russian camcorders?! 293 00:21:28,680 --> 00:21:32,674 I didn't think they went in for all that "You've Been Framed" cobblers. 294 00:21:32,840 --> 00:21:35,958 No, these are ex—military with night—vision. 295 00:21:36,120 --> 00:21:40,876 We're going to buy 650 Russian army camcorders? 296 00:21:41,040 --> 00:21:43,475 Yeah, with a bit of luck. 297 00:21:43,640 --> 00:21:45,313 895 quid. 298 00:21:45,480 --> 00:21:48,996 You're gonna pay £895 for a camera? 299 00:21:49,160 --> 00:21:52,039 No, no, no, no. 895 quid for the lot! 300 00:21:53,760 --> 00:21:57,993 — They sound very classy (!) — State of the art. 301 00:21:58,160 --> 00:21:59,833 (CROUPIER) 30 red. 302 00:22:01,160 --> 00:22:04,198 — Aren't you gonna have a bet? - No. 303 00:22:04,360 --> 00:22:07,193 Try and look at it from Raquel's point of view. 304 00:22:07,360 --> 00:22:11,638 She's there night after night with Horatio and his tales of the sea 305 00:22:11,800 --> 00:22:13,871 and you're here drinking and gambling. 306 00:22:14,040 --> 00:22:17,158 - I know. And does she appreciate it? — No! 307 00:22:17,320 --> 00:22:20,358 No, she does not. 308 00:22:20,520 --> 00:22:24,673 Honestly! She thinks I'm out every night enjoying myself. 309 00:22:24,840 --> 00:22:28,117 Excuse me, darling. Same again, please. 310 00:22:28,280 --> 00:22:32,956 That's the trouble with women. They change and expect you to change, too. 311 00:22:33,120 --> 00:22:36,397 She wanted me to become a pipe—and-slippers man. 312 00:22:36,560 --> 00:22:40,030 A cup of tea and a biscuit, watching "Family Fortunes". 313 00:22:40,200 --> 00:22:42,794 Stuff that for a game of toy soldiers! 314 00:22:42,960 --> 00:22:46,794 I'm not averse to a cup of Darjeeling and an 'Obnob, 315 00:22:46,960 --> 00:22:49,474 but there is a time and place for it. 316 00:22:49,640 --> 00:22:52,519 No, I live life on the tightrope. 317 00:22:53,440 --> 00:22:57,399 I enjoy the company of me mates. Why should I change just 'cause of Raquel? 318 00:22:57,560 --> 00:23:01,440 Who are your mates, Del? Boycie, the freemason. 319 00:23:01,600 --> 00:23:05,434 A snob who thinks anyone who's got a pound less than him is a peasant. 320 00:23:05,600 --> 00:23:09,230 Denzil is a man who eats porridge with a wig in it, 321 00:23:09,400 --> 00:23:14,031 and Trigger, a road sweeper who gives pet names to his teeth! 322 00:23:15,720 --> 00:23:18,439 They're still me mates. 323 00:23:18,600 --> 00:23:20,910 I'm not like you, Rodders. 324 00:23:21,080 --> 00:23:24,869 — Del Boy is not for turning. — What's that supposed to mean? 325 00:23:25,040 --> 00:23:28,078 — Marriage ain't changed me. — It has, Rodney. 326 00:23:28,240 --> 00:23:33,235 Cassandra's into this conservation malarkey and so is Rodney as well. 327 00:23:33,400 --> 00:23:38,315 I have not changed, Del. When I make my mind up, nothing can alter it. 328 00:23:38,480 --> 00:23:42,269 — 140 pieces, sir. Thank you. — We'll stick with evens. 329 00:23:43,360 --> 00:23:45,749 I'm gonna go and get some chips. 330 00:23:57,640 --> 00:24:00,473 Come on! Red, red, red! 331 00:24:01,480 --> 00:24:05,553 Excuse me, Del. I'm afraid Ronnie won't be in now. I'll leave a message. 332 00:24:05,720 --> 00:24:07,836 Oh, all right. Thanks. 333 00:24:14,800 --> 00:24:19,271 — Come on, Rodney. Let's go home. — The ball ain't landed yet. 334 00:24:20,360 --> 00:24:22,351 (CROUPIER) 17 Black. 335 00:24:22,520 --> 00:24:23,999 Shit! 336 00:24:24,160 --> 00:24:26,629 Oi! How much did you lose? 337 00:24:27,520 --> 00:24:31,150 — Fifty. - You plonker! 338 00:24:32,720 --> 00:24:36,395 I wouldn't have gambled if you hadn't encouraged me. 339 00:24:36,560 --> 00:24:41,350 Don't blame me. What did you come in here for if you didn't want a flutter? 340 00:24:41,520 --> 00:24:44,876 Ill tell you why. Cassandra suggested I come. 341 00:24:45,040 --> 00:24:48,351 - Why? — To get you home at a decent hour. 342 00:24:48,520 --> 00:24:51,717 We are trying to save your relationship with Raquel. 343 00:24:51,880 --> 00:24:56,158 You've been falling in half one, two in the morning, and it is not on! 344 00:25:01,920 --> 00:25:06,790 It's eight o'clock in the morning! This is all your fault, dopey! 345 00:25:06,960 --> 00:25:09,952 - Me?! — Yes, you kept me talking in there! 346 00:25:10,120 --> 00:25:13,750 — Who was it doing all the gambling? — You did your fair share. 347 00:25:13,920 --> 00:25:18,994 Cor blimey, I could have been home hours ago. You've dropped me in it! 348 00:25:19,960 --> 00:25:22,839 Look, we've gotta be down the market in half an hour! 349 00:25:23,000 --> 00:25:25,879 Listen, I know what you're thinking! 350 00:25:26,040 --> 00:25:29,715 You're thinking, "What do I want with this ski equipment? 351 00:25:29,880 --> 00:25:32,190 "There ain't no mountains in Peckham." 352 00:25:32,360 --> 00:25:37,070 In a few months, you may decide to take an Alpine holiday. 353 00:25:37,240 --> 00:25:41,029 Due to my unique style of bulk buying, 354 00:25:41,200 --> 00:25:47,435 you can go togged out in the latest fashion at bargain—basement prices. 355 00:25:47,600 --> 00:25:50,718 I'm gonna show you how stylish this gear is. 356 00:25:50,880 --> 00:25:53,633 It's being modelled by my brother, Rodney. 357 00:25:58,800 --> 00:26:03,078 The jacket is padded in pure fibreglass 358 00:26:03,240 --> 00:26:06,312 and quilted in natural nylon. 359 00:26:06,480 --> 00:26:11,077 This jacket alone would set you back 120 quid at Lilywhites, 360 00:26:11,240 --> 00:26:16,553 but this can be yours for a mere £35 and it comes in all sizes. 361 00:26:16,720 --> 00:26:22,955 All this is manufactured by the one country that leads the world in Alpine clothing, 362 00:26:23,120 --> 00:26:25,031 namely, Fiji. 363 00:26:25,200 --> 00:26:27,350 (MOBILE RINGS) 364 00:26:27,520 --> 00:26:33,755 Just a moment. This is probably the Austrian Olympic squad wanting to increase their order. 365 00:26:33,920 --> 00:26:38,551 Hello? Trotters Independent Traders plc, Arctic clothing department. 366 00:26:38,720 --> 00:26:40,472 All right, Dave? 367 00:26:42,360 --> 00:26:44,795 Rodney, it's Cassandra. 368 00:26:47,160 --> 00:26:50,915 Cass? I told you never to phone me at work. I'm... 369 00:26:51,880 --> 00:26:53,279 what? 370 00:26:54,080 --> 00:26:56,071 What, now? 371 00:26:57,280 --> 00:26:59,237 I can't. I'm in the midd... 372 00:27:00,680 --> 00:27:03,354 Yes, all right. 373 00:27:05,280 --> 00:27:07,954 I've gotta shoot off. Cassie needs me. 374 00:27:08,120 --> 00:27:09,793 what for? 375 00:27:10,760 --> 00:27:15,709 — It's probably the right time. - She'll keep till this evening! 376 00:27:15,880 --> 00:27:18,235 No, it's... You know... 377 00:27:20,760 --> 00:27:24,276 She's most probably at the right temperature. 378 00:27:24,440 --> 00:27:29,276 Stone me, Rodney! What are you two trying for — a baby or a barbecue? 379 00:27:31,760 --> 00:27:36,072 Go on! Hurry up! Don't you wanna change your clothes? 380 00:27:37,760 --> 00:27:40,354 Oh! Look at that! 381 00:27:41,640 --> 00:27:43,631 Cass, I'm home! 382 00:27:43,800 --> 00:27:47,794 - I'm in here, Roddy. — Right. I won't be a minute. 383 00:28:00,960 --> 00:28:04,191 Sorry about that, Raquel. I was... I was hot. 384 00:28:06,360 --> 00:28:08,670 — What are you doing here? — She's left Del. 385 00:28:08,840 --> 00:28:11,912 - Why? — Do you know what time he got in? 386 00:28:13,680 --> 00:28:16,240 - No. — Quarter past eight. 387 00:28:18,920 --> 00:28:20,399 Get away! 388 00:28:20,560 --> 00:28:25,589 He changed and went straight down the market. Didn't even stop for his tea. 389 00:28:25,760 --> 00:28:28,912 He's not treating me like that any more. 390 00:28:29,080 --> 00:28:34,280 Look at it from his point of view. There are extenuating circumstances. 391 00:28:34,440 --> 00:28:36,272 Like what? 392 00:28:36,440 --> 00:28:38,716 He's having trouble with his teeth. 393 00:28:38,880 --> 00:28:41,998 — That's no excuse! - No, but he is in pain. 394 00:28:42,160 --> 00:28:44,071 So am I, Rodney! 395 00:28:44,240 --> 00:28:48,120 — Where are you gonna go? — I said they could stay here. 396 00:28:48,280 --> 00:28:52,194 — Here? But this is a one-bedroom flat. — This is a sofa bed. 397 00:28:52,360 --> 00:28:56,991 I won't be here for long. A couple of nights. Is that OK with you? 398 00:28:57,160 --> 00:28:59,310 Yeah, course. 399 00:28:59,480 --> 00:29:02,279 Good. I'll make us a cup of something. 400 00:29:03,440 --> 00:29:05,636 I'LL help. 401 00:29:19,280 --> 00:29:22,796 (SPOOKY MUSIC FROM "THE OMEN") 402 00:29:26,840 --> 00:29:30,037 Here we go, gentlemen. Drinks. 403 00:29:30,200 --> 00:29:32,874 Is that right, Del? Just a lemonade for you? 404 00:29:33,040 --> 00:29:38,114 Yeah. I'm visiting Trig's dentist later. I don't want to smell of booze. 405 00:29:38,280 --> 00:29:41,750 Are you and Raquel still at pistols drawn? 406 00:29:41,920 --> 00:29:44,560 Yeah. Still involved in a cold war. 407 00:29:44,720 --> 00:29:49,510 I'm gonna live my life the way I wanna live it. Give her time. She'll learn. 408 00:29:49,680 --> 00:29:53,036 That's exactly the attitude I took with my Corinne. 409 00:29:53,200 --> 00:29:56,830 Even when she left me I refused to change. 410 00:29:57,000 --> 00:30:00,118 Seven years ago, but I haven't changed. 411 00:30:00,280 --> 00:30:02,999 But there is a difference, Denzil. 412 00:30:03,160 --> 00:30:07,199 Raquel would never leave me. It's the real deep love thing. 413 00:30:07,360 --> 00:30:10,113 Women are a mystery, though. 414 00:30:10,280 --> 00:30:13,113 What? Here's a mystery for you. 415 00:30:13,280 --> 00:30:18,036 Why is it women always wanna know what time you got in? 416 00:30:18,200 --> 00:30:22,194 They say, "What time did you get in last night?" You say, "About 12.15." 417 00:30:22,360 --> 00:30:25,478 They say, "No, you didn't! It was twenty to two!" 418 00:30:25,640 --> 00:30:28,280 I'm thinking, "Well, why bloody ask!" 419 00:30:28,440 --> 00:30:32,798 Right, why ask? It's like saying to you, "What's that on the telly — 420 00:30:32,960 --> 00:30:36,157 "Coronation Street" or "EastEnders"?" You say, "EastEnders." 421 00:30:36,320 --> 00:30:39,438 They say, "It's "Coronation Street." Why ask? 422 00:30:39,600 --> 00:30:41,955 - Why ask? — Beats me! 423 00:30:42,120 --> 00:30:46,079 I came home one night and my missus said, "Where are you living now?" 424 00:30:46,240 --> 00:30:50,473 I said, "Here." She said, "You ain't", and threw me suitcase at me. 425 00:30:50,640 --> 00:30:52,551 (ALL) Why ask? 426 00:30:52,720 --> 00:30:54,916 Why ask? 427 00:30:58,640 --> 00:31:03,430 That's women for you. They're a different breed. Take my Marlene. 428 00:31:03,600 --> 00:31:07,036 She's always moaning about how I don't respect her. 429 00:31:07,200 --> 00:31:09,999 Me? Don't respect me own wife? 430 00:31:10,160 --> 00:31:12,470 Daft old mare! 431 00:31:13,320 --> 00:31:19,874 I love her, but sometimes I think getting married was the worst mistake I ever made. 432 00:31:20,040 --> 00:31:24,079 I sometimes think back to when we first met in Lewisham Grove. 433 00:31:24,240 --> 00:31:28,279 I wish I'd never, ever walked into that betting shop now. 434 00:31:29,360 --> 00:31:32,352 (DEL MOUTHS) Marlene! 435 00:31:35,240 --> 00:31:37,550 — So that's who you... — Trigger! 436 00:31:38,640 --> 00:31:42,759 - What? - I just remembered something very important. 437 00:31:42,920 --> 00:31:44,593 - What? - It's gone now. 438 00:31:44,760 --> 00:31:48,390 That's all right. It happens to me all the time. 439 00:31:49,520 --> 00:31:54,754 I was just gonna say something important to Del and it's gone now. 440 00:31:55,720 --> 00:31:58,473 — So how did it turn out, Mike? — Eh? 441 00:32:00,960 --> 00:32:03,952 "Coronation Street" or "EastEnders"? 442 00:32:05,080 --> 00:32:09,517 As long as it weren't "EL Dorado", we can all sleep easy! 443 00:32:11,400 --> 00:32:14,233 — All right, Unc? Any messages for me? — Yeah, er... 444 00:32:14,400 --> 00:32:17,392 That bloke phoned about the video cameras. 445 00:32:17,560 --> 00:32:21,440 Someone come round moaning about a pair of ski pants. 446 00:32:21,600 --> 00:32:23,750 And Raquel's left you. 447 00:32:27,160 --> 00:32:29,356 I just don't believe it, Rodney! 448 00:32:29,520 --> 00:32:33,400 I have never had a woman walk out on me like that. 449 00:32:33,560 --> 00:32:35,233 - You have. - who? 450 00:32:35,400 --> 00:32:37,835 All of 'em! 451 00:32:38,000 --> 00:32:41,356 Yeah, but they didn't have my child with them, did they? 452 00:32:43,200 --> 00:32:48,195 Look, Del, I feel a bit embarrassed about Raquel staying at the flat, 453 00:32:48,360 --> 00:32:51,000 but I couldn't refuse, could 1? 454 00:32:51,160 --> 00:32:55,836 Course not, bruv. You couldn't see 'em turned out on the street. 455 00:32:56,000 --> 00:32:58,719 I'll see you're all right for some money. 456 00:32:58,880 --> 00:33:02,874 — Don't be silly. — No, I appreciate what you're doing. 457 00:33:03,040 --> 00:33:08,752 I reckon all it would take is one phone call and you two'd be back together in no time. 458 00:33:08,920 --> 00:33:11,309 It'll just take one word — "Sorry." 459 00:33:17,400 --> 00:33:22,998 You're right. Get her to phone me and apologise and I'll forget about it. 460 00:33:23,160 --> 00:33:26,710 — I was talking about you! — Me?! What have I done? 461 00:33:26,880 --> 00:33:31,113 Raquel hardly ever sees you! You treat that flat like a lodging house. 462 00:33:31,280 --> 00:33:36,480 She told me you walked into the bedroom and Damien thought you was an intruder! 463 00:33:36,640 --> 00:33:39,359 That is a load of rubbish, that is! 464 00:33:39,520 --> 00:33:43,753 I've been under a lot of stress with business deals and all that. 465 00:33:43,920 --> 00:33:49,279 I said, "Del's been under a lot of pressure with business and his teeth going manky." 466 00:33:49,440 --> 00:33:53,991 Exactly. My teeth are not going manky! They just need looking at. 467 00:33:54,160 --> 00:33:56,720 Well, go and have 'em looked at, then! 468 00:33:56,880 --> 00:33:59,838 — I don't like dentists. - It's like the Milky Bar kid. 469 00:34:00,000 --> 00:34:05,518 Tell you what, we'll go down to Ronnie Nelson's and pick up the cameras, 470 00:34:05,680 --> 00:34:07,910 then I'll go to the dentist's. 471 00:34:08,080 --> 00:34:13,393 No. You go to the dentist now and then we'll pick up the cameras. 472 00:34:13,560 --> 00:34:16,074 Go on, get in there. 473 00:34:19,880 --> 00:34:23,032 Ain't you coming with me? 474 00:34:25,640 --> 00:34:27,074 No. 475 00:34:27,240 --> 00:34:30,039 I'm gonna have a kip in the van. 476 00:34:30,200 --> 00:34:33,192 Oi, Rodney, I'm gonna get you... Ow! 477 00:34:33,360 --> 00:34:34,680 Ooh! 478 00:34:38,680 --> 00:34:43,834 I'm sorry to interrupt. Mrs Patel just rang to cancel her appointment. 479 00:34:44,000 --> 00:34:46,037 — Thank you, Beverley. — Aghh! 480 00:34:46,200 --> 00:34:49,033 — That's the one. - I know that! 481 00:34:49,200 --> 00:34:51,669 Help yourself to the, um... 482 00:34:51,840 --> 00:34:54,434 Mmm? Oh, ta. 483 00:35:00,120 --> 00:35:02,111 Very good. 484 00:35:05,280 --> 00:35:08,238 Do you have regular dental checks? 485 00:35:08,400 --> 00:35:11,677 Yes, Doctor. You can't be too careful with the choppers. 486 00:35:12,360 --> 00:35:14,874 Who was the last dentist you saw? 487 00:35:15,040 --> 00:35:18,954 That would be Mr Owens — had a surgery down Gandhi Avenue. 488 00:35:19,120 --> 00:35:25,594 Mr Owens? He died on the night of the Queen's Silver Jubilee — 1977. 489 00:35:25,760 --> 00:35:28,149 Tragic, wasn't it? 490 00:35:28,320 --> 00:35:32,439 So you have a regular check—up every 16 years? 491 00:35:33,440 --> 00:35:37,673 - I think it's better in the long run, don't you? — Yes. Yes. 492 00:35:38,480 --> 00:35:42,633 Afraid your tooth is beyond repair. It'll have to come out. 493 00:35:42,800 --> 00:35:45,679 I'll make an appointment for next week. 494 00:35:45,840 --> 00:35:47,911 - I'll do it now. — Now? 495 00:35:48,080 --> 00:35:50,799 Don't worry. You won't feel a thing. 496 00:35:51,720 --> 00:35:55,076 This will make one side of your face a bit numb. 497 00:35:55,240 --> 00:35:58,710 You see, the thing is, I'm in a bit of a hurry. 498 00:35:58,880 --> 00:36:00,871 It'll only take five minutes. 499 00:36:01,040 --> 00:36:04,715 — My brother's in the van. — Just a little prick. 500 00:36:04,880 --> 00:36:06,917 You know him, do you? 501 00:36:20,000 --> 00:36:21,991 Aghhhh! 502 00:36:23,440 --> 00:36:25,909 There we are. 503 00:36:26,080 --> 00:36:31,280 If you'd like to sit in the waiting room and give the anaesthetic time to work, 504 00:36:31,440 --> 00:36:34,034 Ill call you in five minutes. 505 00:36:34,200 --> 00:36:36,510 Thank you, Doctor. 506 00:36:38,480 --> 00:36:40,312 (BUZZER) 507 00:36:40,480 --> 00:36:43,199 Mrs Marshall. You can go through now. 508 00:36:50,520 --> 00:36:53,273 Gotta wait for this jollop to work. 509 00:36:53,440 --> 00:36:58,196 Doesn't take too long. We could complete this form while you wait. 510 00:36:58,360 --> 00:37:02,354 It's just for new patients. I've got most of your details. 511 00:37:02,520 --> 00:37:04,875 Now, let me see... 512 00:37:05,920 --> 00:37:10,278 — Next of kin? - I'm only having me tooth out! 513 00:37:11,560 --> 00:37:14,313 It's just local health authority procedure. 514 00:37:15,520 --> 00:37:17,909 I ain't got no next of kin. 515 00:37:18,080 --> 00:37:21,277 — No one? - There's my brother. 516 00:37:21,440 --> 00:37:24,080 — Have you got any dependents? — My brother. 517 00:37:43,920 --> 00:37:46,434 — Any children? — Yeah, I've got a son. 518 00:37:46,600 --> 00:37:48,591 That's better. 519 00:37:49,480 --> 00:37:52,871 It's Damien. Damien Derek Trotter. 520 00:37:53,040 --> 00:37:55,839 My daughter's got a little boy called that. 521 00:37:56,000 --> 00:37:57,957 Damien Derek Trotter? 522 00:37:58,120 --> 00:38:01,033 No, just Damien. 523 00:38:01,200 --> 00:38:03,760 You're having me on! You've got a grandson? 524 00:38:03,920 --> 00:38:06,673 - Yeah. — Never! 525 00:38:06,840 --> 00:38:09,593 You must have had your daughter very young. 526 00:38:09,760 --> 00:38:13,879 I'd put you down as late twenties. 527 00:38:14,040 --> 00:38:16,156 Oh, get off! 528 00:38:16,320 --> 00:38:18,357 Honest. Straight up! 529 00:38:20,000 --> 00:38:23,277 - Is he your husband, is he? — Mr Ellis? 530 00:38:23,440 --> 00:38:28,719 - No, I just work here. — I thought it might be a family business. 531 00:38:28,880 --> 00:38:31,156 No, I'm divorced. 532 00:38:32,480 --> 00:38:36,633 — We broke up about nine years ago. — Oh, really? 533 00:38:37,520 --> 00:38:41,878 'Cause my w..., er, partner, she left me. 534 00:38:42,040 --> 00:38:44,190 Oh, I'm sorry. 535 00:38:45,120 --> 00:38:49,478 People say time's a great healer. But I'm not so sure. 536 00:38:49,640 --> 00:38:55,272 Even now I sometimes think about those days and it still hurts, you know? 537 00:38:55,440 --> 00:39:01,994 - I know. I still get little pangs. — When did your relationship break up? 538 00:39:02,160 --> 00:39:04,390 This morning. 539 00:39:04,560 --> 00:39:07,120 This morning?! 540 00:39:07,280 --> 00:39:12,559 Perhaps we ought to go out with each other and cry on each other's shoulders. 541 00:39:12,720 --> 00:39:14,677 Del, there is a rat in the van! 542 00:39:16,320 --> 00:39:19,233 - You what? - In the van! A rat! 543 00:39:19,400 --> 00:39:20,879 — A rat? - In the van! 544 00:39:21,040 --> 00:39:23,190 What are you on about? 545 00:39:23,360 --> 00:39:26,876 I am trying to inform you that there is a rat in the van. 546 00:39:27,040 --> 00:39:29,077 It's not a rat! 547 00:39:29,240 --> 00:39:31,993 It's a gerbil. 548 00:39:32,760 --> 00:39:35,912 All right. So there's a gerbil in the van! 549 00:39:36,080 --> 00:39:39,311 - I know. I got it for Christmas. — For Christmas?! 550 00:39:42,920 --> 00:39:46,550 — For Damien? — Yes, it's one of his presents! 551 00:39:46,720 --> 00:39:48,996 Gerry the gerbil. 552 00:39:49,160 --> 00:39:53,677 I had it in a cage in the van. The door must have come open. 553 00:39:53,840 --> 00:39:57,356 — Go and put it back in the cage. - Eh? 554 00:39:58,360 --> 00:40:02,354 Go and put the gerbil back in the cage! 555 00:40:07,120 --> 00:40:08,474 Right. 556 00:40:11,320 --> 00:40:13,630 Dependents! Huh! 557 00:40:13,800 --> 00:40:16,952 My boy wanted a pet for Christmas, 558 00:40:17,120 --> 00:40:19,839 so I got him Gerry the gerbil. 559 00:40:20,000 --> 00:40:22,640 — So what about it, Beverley? — Sorry? 560 00:40:22,800 --> 00:40:26,191 You and me having a date. 561 00:40:26,360 --> 00:40:29,512 Well, it's very nice of you, but... 562 00:40:29,680 --> 00:40:36,359 Your relationship's only just broken up. In a couple of days you could be back together. 563 00:40:36,520 --> 00:40:39,034 No, we won't. It's finished. Caput! 564 00:40:39,200 --> 00:40:42,636 There's no going back. I'm a free agent. 565 00:40:42,800 --> 00:40:45,952 - I go where I want, with whom I want. — OK, then! 566 00:40:47,480 --> 00:40:51,519 Yeah. Lovely jubbly! You know it makes sense! 567 00:40:54,000 --> 00:40:57,709 Well, what about this evening? Eight o'clock? 568 00:40:57,880 --> 00:41:03,831 Take you out for a slap—up meal. Steak, onion rings... 569 00:41:04,000 --> 00:41:05,991 Fine! 570 00:41:07,800 --> 00:41:12,510 That's where I live. And my phone number in case anything goes wrong. 571 00:41:12,680 --> 00:41:15,991 - I'll shee you thish evening. —- What? 572 00:41:16,840 --> 00:41:21,038 Oh, sorry. The antisheptic's beginning to work. 573 00:41:21,200 --> 00:41:24,113 - He'll be with you in a minute. - Hmm. 574 00:41:29,320 --> 00:41:31,994 I'll just, er, shit here. 575 00:41:50,520 --> 00:41:53,194 Are they the Russian cameras? 576 00:41:53,360 --> 00:41:59,117 No, this is a pair of Chelsea boots with an elasticated gusset (!) Of course it is! 577 00:41:59,280 --> 00:42:00,679 All right? 578 00:42:00,840 --> 00:42:05,152 — How's your mouth, Del? — Can't feel a thing. Brilliant dentist. 579 00:42:05,320 --> 00:42:10,030 — These are bigger than I imagined. — They are a bit on the wide side. 580 00:42:10,200 --> 00:42:14,034 — You said they was hand-held. - You're holding it in your hand. 581 00:42:14,200 --> 00:42:19,639 Only just. If you carried one round EuroDisney you'd do your back in! 582 00:42:19,800 --> 00:42:23,634 That's good for you, Rodney. It'll build your strength up. 583 00:42:23,800 --> 00:42:27,953 Save you a fortune on weights and rowing machines and stuff. 584 00:42:28,120 --> 00:42:32,159 — I wonder what that writing says? — "Reject", probably. 585 00:42:33,320 --> 00:42:37,279 These are not rejects. These are top of the range. 586 00:42:37,440 --> 00:42:39,750 Look at 'em. Solid, they are. 587 00:42:39,920 --> 00:42:44,869 No bits of plastic to break off. The cassette is inside the camera. 588 00:42:45,040 --> 00:42:48,032 Don't muck about with them soppy little things. 589 00:42:48,200 --> 00:42:51,192 This was designed for tank warfare. 590 00:42:51,360 --> 00:42:56,150 Yes, can just see 'em now — "Number One, fire a shot across his bow!" 591 00:42:57,600 --> 00:42:59,193 — Del? - Yeah? 592 00:42:59,360 --> 00:43:02,796 They don't fit the machine. 593 00:43:02,960 --> 00:43:06,032 No, I know that. They're a different size. 594 00:43:06,200 --> 00:43:10,910 But that's no problem 'cause Ronnie's got a consignment of Russian VCRs 595 00:43:11,080 --> 00:43:14,675 coming over next Tuesday from Volvograd. 596 00:43:14,840 --> 00:43:20,916 So if we find a mercenary who wants to tape a tank battle to show the wife, 597 00:43:21,080 --> 00:43:23,390 he has to buy a Russian VCR and all? 598 00:43:23,560 --> 00:43:28,953 — I can't see 'em queuing for this! — 95 quid, the set. Can't be bad. 599 00:43:29,120 --> 00:43:32,272 Think about it. we'll make money on this. 600 00:43:32,440 --> 00:43:36,877 All you do is fall on your arse and Jeremy Beadle will give you a grand. 601 00:43:37,040 --> 00:43:40,271 — Going out, Del? — Yes, I've got a date. 602 00:43:40,440 --> 00:43:42,750 — A date? — Uh-huh. 603 00:43:42,920 --> 00:43:47,949 - What do you mean, a date? — I met this woman down at the dentist's. 604 00:43:48,120 --> 00:43:51,351 - I'm taking her out for dinner. — I don't believe this! 605 00:43:51,520 --> 00:43:53,955 Well, you surprise me, Del. 606 00:43:54,120 --> 00:43:59,069 Raquel and your baby are round the corner and you're going out with some young bird. 607 00:43:59,240 --> 00:44:01,231 She's not a young bird. 608 00:44:01,400 --> 00:44:05,109 — She happens to be a grandmother. - A grandmother?! 609 00:44:05,280 --> 00:44:08,830 Perhaps she'll bring her sister along for him! 610 00:44:11,280 --> 00:44:13,920 She is a very young grandmother. 611 00:44:14,080 --> 00:44:16,674 Tuh! Sister along for... 612 00:44:17,600 --> 00:44:22,470 Don't look at me like that, Rodney! Raquel was the one who walked out on me. 613 00:44:28,560 --> 00:44:33,589 You don't know what it's like. I'm not an island, Rodney. 614 00:44:33,760 --> 00:44:36,115 A man gets lonely. 615 00:44:36,280 --> 00:44:39,238 Raquel only left this morning! 616 00:44:40,160 --> 00:44:44,358 She's left you for longer periods when she's been out shopping! 617 00:44:44,520 --> 00:44:46,875 — It's horrible here now. — There's Albert. 618 00:44:47,040 --> 00:44:49,077 That's what I mean! 619 00:44:49,240 --> 00:44:53,234 Could you honestly cheat on Raquel? Two-time the mother of your baby? 620 00:44:53,400 --> 00:44:57,473 Oh, bonnet de douche! I'm only taking her to a Berni Inn! 621 00:44:57,640 --> 00:45:00,154 That can lead to other things. 622 00:45:00,320 --> 00:45:04,075 Yeah. Next week, I'll take her to a Spud-U-Like! 623 00:45:04,240 --> 00:45:06,550 You know what I mean. 624 00:45:06,720 --> 00:45:11,112 Did you know that Raquel was crying this afternoon? 625 00:45:12,440 --> 00:45:13,919 - Crying? - Yeah. 626 00:45:14,080 --> 00:45:16,833 Sat on our sofa crying her eyes out 'cause of you. 627 00:45:18,920 --> 00:45:20,957 Poor cow! 628 00:45:21,120 --> 00:45:23,111 That's what I thought. 629 00:45:23,280 --> 00:45:26,830 I'll see you later. Do enjoy your steak, Derek. 630 00:45:27,000 --> 00:45:32,029 Rodney! Rodney! All right, all right. No, you've made your point. 631 00:45:32,200 --> 00:45:36,273 I was only trying to see if I could still pull. 632 00:45:38,120 --> 00:45:41,317 - Ill call her and break off the date. — Good. 633 00:45:41,480 --> 00:45:44,279 And call Raquel and ask her to come home. 634 00:45:44,440 --> 00:45:47,193 No way, Pedro! 635 00:45:48,400 --> 00:45:51,518 If she wants to come back she's got to call me. 636 00:45:51,680 --> 00:45:55,594 You kill me, Derek. I'll see you tomorrow. 637 00:45:55,760 --> 00:46:00,072 You're doing the right thing, Del. It was a bad move. 638 00:46:00,240 --> 00:46:02,709 Yeah. I expect you're right. 639 00:46:02,880 --> 00:46:06,839 Pity, really. She fancied one of these cameras an" all. 640 00:46:07,720 --> 00:46:11,793 (RINGING TONE) 641 00:46:14,920 --> 00:46:17,116 Hi, this is Beverley. 642 00:46:17,280 --> 00:46:23,834 I can't come to the phone right now, but leave a message and I'll get back to you. 643 00:46:24,000 --> 00:46:26,992 Er, yeah... Hello, Beverley. 644 00:46:27,160 --> 00:46:29,754 This is Del Boy. Um... 645 00:46:29,920 --> 00:46:33,390 Thing is, I can't make our date tonight. 646 00:46:33,560 --> 00:46:37,997 Um... I'm sorry. I'll give you a call another time. 647 00:46:38,160 --> 00:46:40,800 All right? Bonjour! 648 00:46:43,240 --> 00:46:47,359 - I'll pour us a drink, Del. - I wish I had a dog or a cat. 649 00:46:47,520 --> 00:46:49,796 You've got that gerbil. 650 00:46:49,960 --> 00:46:53,157 I feel like kicking something up the arse! 651 00:46:56,760 --> 00:47:00,230 — He was doing what?! — Shh! Raquel's in there. 652 00:47:00,400 --> 00:47:04,439 — He was going out with another woman? — He was threatening to. 653 00:47:04,600 --> 00:47:08,355 He was all dressed up like a heart—throb out of "Crossroads". 654 00:47:08,520 --> 00:47:12,912 Do you think he's having a mid-life crisis, trying to attract young girls? 655 00:47:13,080 --> 00:47:17,870 No. If that was the case, Del's male menopause started when he was 14! 656 00:47:18,040 --> 00:47:21,476 Anyway, she's not a young girl. She's a grandmother! 657 00:47:21,640 --> 00:47:23,950 - A grandmother?! - Shh! 658 00:47:24,120 --> 00:47:29,149 He met her at the dentist's. Not much would have happened on their date. 659 00:47:29,320 --> 00:47:32,199 They'd have sat in a Berni Inn counting her teeth! 660 00:47:32,360 --> 00:47:35,910 Why doesn't he just phone Raquel? They miss each other. 661 00:47:36,080 --> 00:47:40,790 It's his pride, isn't it? He is the man and must be seen to be the man. 662 00:47:40,960 --> 00:47:44,749 He's never had a very modern attitude towards women. 663 00:47:44,920 --> 00:47:50,313 When he was younger, Del's idea of safe sex was not telling a girl where he lived! 664 00:47:51,000 --> 00:47:54,994 It's funny, but in them days Del used to be my hero. 665 00:47:55,160 --> 00:47:57,151 Del?! You're joking! 666 00:47:57,320 --> 00:48:01,029 I could tell you things about Del Boy that would amaze you. 667 00:48:01,200 --> 00:48:03,191 Go on, then. Amaze me! 668 00:48:03,360 --> 00:48:07,831 Well...there was the time he took his O levels. 669 00:48:08,000 --> 00:48:12,119 I was only a sprog, but I remember the night he brought his results home. 670 00:48:12,280 --> 00:48:16,433 — He got eight A's. — Eight A's? Del?! 671 00:48:16,600 --> 00:48:19,718 Yep. A for English, A for Maths. The list went on. 672 00:48:19,880 --> 00:48:24,238 — They were someone else's results? — No, they were Del's results. 673 00:48:24,400 --> 00:48:27,074 Me mum and dad was all excited. 674 00:48:27,240 --> 00:48:31,199 We had a big family celebration. Aunties, uncles, the lot. 675 00:48:31,360 --> 00:48:35,069 Del was tossing up where to go — Oxford or Cambridge. 676 00:48:35,240 --> 00:48:38,358 He phoned up both universities, made enquiries. 677 00:48:38,520 --> 00:48:41,239 What the pubs are like, that sort of thing! 678 00:48:41,400 --> 00:48:45,633 — I can't imagine Del getting eight A's! — He surprised everyone. 679 00:48:45,800 --> 00:48:50,078 Then, a couple of days later, we got a letter from the school. 680 00:48:50,240 --> 00:48:53,471 It turned out the A's all stood for "Absent". 681 00:48:53,640 --> 00:48:57,520 — He hadn't turned up for any of the exams? — Not one! 682 00:48:57,680 --> 00:49:02,390 He'd been down the market flogging some hooky Tom Jones LPs! 683 00:49:02,560 --> 00:49:05,473 You wouldn't have laughed if you'd been there. 684 00:49:05,640 --> 00:49:10,350 Dad went potty. He was shouting at Del, calling him names. 685 00:49:10,520 --> 00:49:14,479 Del was ducking round the room trying to escape. 686 00:49:14,640 --> 00:49:19,589 Then it all turned violent 'cause he'd been out drinking, you see. 687 00:49:20,360 --> 00:49:25,514 He took his belt off and started whacking him, punching him, everything. 688 00:49:25,680 --> 00:49:28,320 That's what he was like. 689 00:49:28,480 --> 00:49:32,474 Mum was screaming, "Don't hit him!" and I was crying. 690 00:49:33,040 --> 00:49:36,112 God. Poor Rodney! 691 00:49:37,280 --> 00:49:40,238 — Was he hurt? — Not too bad. 692 00:49:40,400 --> 00:49:44,951 He was in hospital for a couple of days. Mum took me to visit him. 693 00:49:45,120 --> 00:49:47,873 What happened to your father? 694 00:49:48,040 --> 00:49:52,511 — I'm talking about me father! — Oh! I thought you meant Del. 695 00:49:52,680 --> 00:49:55,433 No, he was all right. 696 00:49:55,600 --> 00:49:59,673 He was a dirty little fighter. He used to go in low and grabbing. 697 00:49:59,840 --> 00:50:02,719 I've seen him in so many fights over the years. 698 00:50:02,880 --> 00:50:07,113 I've heard sounds that only a white hunter could make sense of. 699 00:50:07,280 --> 00:50:13,356 That's why he was my hero. From that day on, me dad never whacked me again. 700 00:50:13,520 --> 00:50:17,559 He was too frightened of what Del would do if he found out. 701 00:50:17,720 --> 00:50:20,075 So that's how my life went on. 702 00:50:20,240 --> 00:50:23,915 As long as Del was around, no one could do me any harm. 703 00:50:24,080 --> 00:50:27,232 Course, he made up for that in later life. 704 00:50:36,360 --> 00:50:39,830 — ls it time again? - Hmm. 705 00:50:41,360 --> 00:50:43,954 How are you feeling? 706 00:50:44,120 --> 00:50:47,272 Well, you know, I'll give it a go. 707 00:50:50,280 --> 00:50:55,798 (RODNEY) Ooh, that's nice! Don't bite me — you know how easily I bruise! 708 00:51:02,200 --> 00:51:03,520 Rodney! 709 00:51:03,680 --> 00:51:05,193 Hmm? 710 00:51:11,800 --> 00:51:13,632 It's all right! 711 00:51:13,800 --> 00:51:16,474 He's just wandered in. 712 00:51:16,640 --> 00:51:20,873 Wandered in? Cassandra, I locked the bedroom door! 713 00:51:21,040 --> 00:51:24,158 (MUSIC: THEME FROM "THE OMEN") 714 00:51:29,080 --> 00:51:32,311 — All right if I come in? - I didn't lock the door! 715 00:51:32,480 --> 00:51:36,599 — Rodney! — Mummy's been looking everywhere for you! 716 00:51:36,760 --> 00:51:39,354 — Sorry about this. — It's all right. 717 00:51:39,520 --> 00:51:43,354 He sleeps all day and only comes alive at night! 718 00:51:44,880 --> 00:51:47,394 Say night—night to Rodney and Cassandra. 719 00:51:47,560 --> 00:51:49,790 - Night! - Night. 720 00:51:49,960 --> 00:51:51,917 Night, Damien. 721 00:51:54,120 --> 00:51:56,396 What do you think, then? 722 00:51:56,560 --> 00:51:59,678 — Leave it till tomorrow, shall we? - Yeah. 723 00:52:03,840 --> 00:52:08,277 It's for an endangered species. Do you realise... Oi, Mike. 724 00:52:08,440 --> 00:52:12,593 Listen, um, Del's been hitting the sauce a bit heavy lately. 725 00:52:12,760 --> 00:52:15,912 — Keep an eye on him. — Leave it to me, Rodney. 726 00:52:16,080 --> 00:52:18,390 All I'm asking for is 50p. 727 00:52:18,560 --> 00:52:22,633 What happens when you save these whales? They'll start breeding. 728 00:52:22,800 --> 00:52:28,876 — I wouldn't be surprised. — I don't know how anyone could fancy a whale. 729 00:52:29,040 --> 00:52:31,634 No. Big ugly things, aren't they? 730 00:52:31,800 --> 00:52:35,714 You haven't got to breed with 'em! They can sort that out. 731 00:52:35,880 --> 00:52:40,113 - I know more about the sea than you. — Oh, God, here we go. 732 00:52:40,280 --> 00:52:43,477 You'd be surprised how quickly whales breed. 733 00:52:43,640 --> 00:52:46,837 — Three. — And they're not all gentle. 734 00:52:47,000 --> 00:52:50,118 - Two. — A lot together can be dangerous. 735 00:52:50,280 --> 00:52:52,191 - One. — During the war... 736 00:52:52,360 --> 00:52:54,556 We have lift-off! 737 00:52:54,720 --> 00:52:58,634 I was in a submarine and we got attacked by a whale. 738 00:52:58,800 --> 00:53:01,758 It was probably protecting its young. 739 00:53:01,920 --> 00:53:06,710 — No, it wasn't. It fancied us. — It got the hots for your submarine? 740 00:53:06,880 --> 00:53:09,315 Yeah, it was horrible. 741 00:53:09,480 --> 00:53:13,792 — We were shaking all over the place. — Like your worst nightmare, innit? 742 00:53:13,960 --> 00:53:19,034 No, my worst nightmare is sitting in a pub having a conversation with you two! 743 00:53:23,280 --> 00:53:25,430 It went on for about half hour. 744 00:53:25,600 --> 00:53:30,231 Skipper told us to hang on and don't do anything to annoy it. 745 00:53:30,400 --> 00:53:33,518 — He put the periscope up once. - Up where? 746 00:53:35,440 --> 00:53:38,751 He looked through the viewfinder and went white. 747 00:53:38,920 --> 00:53:43,118 God knows what he saw, but that man never ate halibut again. 748 00:53:47,560 --> 00:53:52,430 What did you do when it was over? Lie back and have a cigarette? 749 00:53:52,600 --> 00:53:54,955 Don't take the mickey, Rodney. 750 00:53:55,120 --> 00:53:59,079 Ever tried to lay an underwater telephone line in the mating season? 751 00:53:59,240 --> 00:54:03,473 — No, I haven't. — My advice to you is don't ever attempt it. 752 00:54:05,040 --> 00:54:08,795 Listen to him, Dave. He knows what he's talking about. 753 00:54:08,960 --> 00:54:11,474 — OK, Rodders? - Never thought I'd say this, 754 00:54:11,640 --> 00:54:13,756 but here's a man with some intelligence. 755 00:54:13,920 --> 00:54:18,471 — Give a couple of bob for charity? — Yeah, anything for a good cause. 756 00:54:18,640 --> 00:54:21,200 — What's this? — He's trying to save whales. 757 00:54:21,360 --> 00:54:27,436 No, they don't get nothing. Not after the way they beat us at rugby. 758 00:54:28,880 --> 00:54:31,076 Fair enough. 759 00:54:31,240 --> 00:54:33,709 How's Cassandra? Pregnant yet? 760 00:54:33,880 --> 00:54:37,396 She won't be with that little git at the bottom of the bed. 761 00:54:37,560 --> 00:54:39,870 What little git's that? 762 00:54:41,200 --> 00:54:45,671 Cassandra's got this big teddy bear she's had since she was a kid. 763 00:54:45,840 --> 00:54:49,435 — It sits on the bed and puts me off. - Silly mare! 764 00:54:49,600 --> 00:54:53,594 How would she like it if you had your Meccano set at the bottom of the bed? 765 00:54:53,760 --> 00:54:56,912 Don't go on about it. It's personal. 766 00:55:03,280 --> 00:55:05,669 See you later, Trig. 767 00:55:05,840 --> 00:55:09,071 All right, how's Damien and Raquel? 768 00:55:09,240 --> 00:55:13,234 She's taking Damien up London tomorrow to show him the sights. 769 00:55:13,400 --> 00:55:15,869 His dad's been too busy to do that. 770 00:55:16,040 --> 00:55:21,274 Yes, too busy earning the poppy to pay for the grub and the heating. 771 00:55:22,840 --> 00:55:24,877 — Still crying, is she? —= Yes. 772 00:55:25,040 --> 00:55:29,318 All through yesterday afternoon and then all through teatime. 773 00:55:30,320 --> 00:55:34,234 — ls it getting on your nerves? — Know what's getting on my nerves? 774 00:55:34,400 --> 00:55:38,234 You are missing Raquel and Damien and they're missing you. 775 00:55:38,400 --> 00:55:42,359 But nobody has the intelligence to sort out the problem. 776 00:55:42,520 --> 00:55:47,310 — All she's gotta do is phone me. — She doesn't know how you feel. 777 00:55:47,480 --> 00:55:51,997 She thinks you want a life of being with your mates and going to casinos. 778 00:55:52,160 --> 00:55:56,472 She doesn't realise it was just a phase while you were doing a deal. 779 00:55:56,640 --> 00:56:00,076 Yeah, well, I didn't want word slipping out. 780 00:56:00,240 --> 00:56:04,074 — She don't know that! — What with that and my tooth. 781 00:56:04,240 --> 00:56:07,631 You've had that out. Del, phone her and tell her. 782 00:56:07,800 --> 00:56:11,031 — What, that I've had my tooth out? — No! 783 00:56:11,200 --> 00:56:16,115 Phone her and tell her that you... Oh, tell her what you bloody like. 784 00:56:16,280 --> 00:56:18,669 All right, I'll give her a bell. 785 00:56:18,840 --> 00:56:22,231 — Del, large scotch on the house. — Oh. Cheers. 786 00:56:22,400 --> 00:56:25,995 Mike, don't give him large scotches on the house! 787 00:56:26,160 --> 00:56:28,629 Sorry, Rodney. I forgot. 788 00:56:28,800 --> 00:56:31,519 Del, that's £1.85, son. 789 00:56:32,960 --> 00:56:35,952 I didn't even ask for it! 790 00:56:38,320 --> 00:56:41,233 Hello, sweetheart. Listen, don't say a word. 791 00:56:41,400 --> 00:56:46,759 Don't say anything. Just listen to me while I'm in the mood, right? 792 00:56:46,920 --> 00:56:50,800 I'm missing you, darling, and I want you to come home. 793 00:56:50,960 --> 00:56:54,396 I know I haven't been fair to you in the past, but... 794 00:56:54,560 --> 00:56:58,838 Look, I can explain if you just give me the chance. 795 00:56:59,000 --> 00:57:02,277 I love you and that will never change. 796 00:57:02,440 --> 00:57:05,796 Things will be different in the future. 797 00:57:05,960 --> 00:57:09,078 So what do you say? 798 00:57:09,240 --> 00:57:10,799 Eh? 799 00:57:10,960 --> 00:57:13,349 Oh, sorry, Cassandra. 800 00:57:14,680 --> 00:57:17,274 Yeah. I wanna speak to Raquel. 801 00:57:18,280 --> 00:57:21,272 She's in the where? All right, I'll hang on. 802 00:57:25,800 --> 00:57:27,199 Del Boy! 803 00:57:27,360 --> 00:57:29,271 Hello, Boycie. 804 00:57:41,000 --> 00:57:43,594 — Who was that woman? — Hmm? 805 00:57:44,760 --> 00:57:47,752 — I didn't see no woman. — The one that smiled at you. 806 00:57:47,920 --> 00:57:50,196 No one's smiled at me all evening. 807 00:57:50,360 --> 00:57:53,273 Where do I know her face from? 808 00:57:53,440 --> 00:57:59,038 I remember. Bronco, Marlene's brother, was in hospital. That's where it was. 809 00:57:59,200 --> 00:58:02,158 That's cleared that up. Wait, Bronco? 810 00:58:02,320 --> 00:58:05,870 — Wasn't he in a psychiatric hospital? - Yeah. 811 00:58:08,280 --> 00:58:11,875 Thanks. Hello? Hello? 812 00:58:13,000 --> 00:58:14,434 Hello? 813 00:58:14,600 --> 00:58:17,160 - Hello? — Hello? 814 00:58:17,320 --> 00:58:19,197 Hello, Raquel. 815 00:58:19,360 --> 00:58:22,512 — How are you? — Fine. You? 816 00:58:22,680 --> 00:58:26,355 Yeah. Lovely. I'm missing you, darling. 817 00:58:26,520 --> 00:58:29,239 I'm missing you as well, you rotten sod! 818 00:58:29,400 --> 00:58:32,074 Why don't you come home, eh? 819 00:58:32,240 --> 00:58:37,360 — It's not as simple as that. — Don't take notice of the last month. 820 00:58:37,520 --> 00:58:40,717 — It's been a one-off. — And the month before that? 821 00:58:40,880 --> 00:58:44,760 — That was a one-off an" all! - I didn't like your attitude. 822 00:58:44,920 --> 00:58:50,074 You gambled with our housekeeping money in some grotty casino. 823 00:58:50,240 --> 00:58:55,394 Look, sweetheart, that's all in the past. No more casinos, no more pubs. 824 00:58:55,560 --> 00:58:58,712 — Same again, Del? - All right, Trig... 825 00:58:58,880 --> 00:59:02,953 Yeah, just a lemonade and a lime. 826 00:59:04,640 --> 00:59:09,794 I don't mind you going down the Nag's Head so long as it's not every night. 827 00:59:09,960 --> 00:59:12,474 When you go, I wouldn't mind going, too. 828 00:59:12,640 --> 00:59:15,632 That's my thoughts entirely. Exactly. 829 00:59:15,800 --> 00:59:19,191 we'll just go down at weekends to be sociable. 830 00:59:19,360 --> 00:59:24,912 If you go out shopping, get me those chequered slippers and some Hobnobs. 831 00:59:25,080 --> 00:59:27,435 I'm a changed man. 832 00:59:27,600 --> 00:59:31,753 I'll even take little Damien out. No excuses. 833 00:59:32,840 --> 00:59:37,789 — So can I come and pick you up? — No, Damien's fast asleep. 834 00:59:37,960 --> 00:59:43,034 - First thing in the morning? - I'm taking him to Madame Tussauds. 835 00:59:43,200 --> 00:59:48,195 - Unless you'd like to come with us? - I can't. I'm picking up them VCRs. 836 00:59:48,360 --> 00:59:51,034 I'll pick you up tomorrow night, yeah? 837 00:59:51,200 --> 00:59:54,238 - All right, then. - All right. 838 00:59:54,400 --> 00:59:58,109 — Raquel, say the magic words. — Don't be silly. 839 00:59:58,280 --> 01:00:02,751 Go on, Raquel. Say the magic words. 840 01:00:04,920 --> 01:00:08,038 - I love you, Trotter. - Yes! 841 01:00:09,520 --> 01:00:13,229 All right, darling. I'll pick you up tomorrow. Ta—ta! 842 01:00:15,360 --> 01:00:19,513 That is it, Del Boy. You're now a changed man. 843 01:00:19,680 --> 01:00:23,196 This is the first day of the rest of your life. 844 01:00:23,360 --> 01:00:27,991 Michael, bottle of your finest champagne, please! 845 01:00:34,480 --> 01:00:37,711 (CATS SCREECH) 846 01:00:37,880 --> 01:00:40,520 (DOGS HOWL) 847 01:00:40,680 --> 01:00:42,239 Shh! 848 01:00:57,640 --> 01:01:01,634 849 01:01:01,800 --> 01:01:07,352 850 01:01:08,040 --> 01:01:13,592 851 01:01:13,760 --> 01:01:16,912 852 01:01:17,080 --> 01:01:20,357 853 01:01:20,520 --> 01:01:25,515 854 01:01:25,680 --> 01:01:30,675 855 01:01:31,360 --> 01:01:36,560 856 01:01:37,320 --> 01:01:41,314 857 01:01:41,480 --> 01:01:47,351 — What's going on down there? — 858 01:01:47,520 --> 01:01:49,875 859 01:01:50,040 --> 01:01:53,158 — What's all the racket? — It's Trotter. He's drunk again. 860 01:01:53,320 --> 01:01:56,472 Why don't you get home to bed, Derek? 861 01:01:56,640 --> 01:02:01,191 862 01:02:01,360 --> 01:02:07,675 863 01:02:07,840 --> 01:02:10,400 864 01:02:10,560 --> 01:02:15,350 865 01:02:15,520 --> 01:02:18,592 (MAN) 866 01:02:18,760 --> 01:02:22,594 867 01:02:22,760 --> 01:02:25,673 868 01:02:25,840 --> 01:02:29,993 - Shut up, Mick! You're making it worse! — You want me to shut up? 869 01:02:30,160 --> 01:02:35,473 — Why don't you make me shut up? - I'll shut that big mouth of yours! 870 01:02:35,640 --> 01:02:38,871 — Downstairs! — It's a fight you want? 871 01:02:39,040 --> 01:02:43,830 — Right! I'm in for some of that. — Oh, no. That's all we need (!) 872 01:02:44,000 --> 01:02:46,150 873 01:02:46,320 --> 01:02:50,678 Del Boy! Of! As in 'eras! 874 01:02:50,840 --> 01:02:52,399 875 01:02:52,560 --> 01:02:55,757 (PHONE RINGS) 876 01:03:07,240 --> 01:03:08,560 Hello? 877 01:03:09,360 --> 01:03:11,510 Yeah. 878 01:03:11,680 --> 01:03:13,830 All right. Bye-bye. 879 01:03:23,480 --> 01:03:27,394 — Del Boy's singing in the precinct. —- What? 880 01:03:28,880 --> 01:03:31,554 Del's singing in the precinct. 881 01:03:31,720 --> 01:03:34,280 I can't hear anything. 882 01:03:35,040 --> 01:03:38,795 That was Albert. Del's singing on the estate. 883 01:03:39,640 --> 01:03:43,599 It's quarter past two in the morning and Del's singing! 884 01:03:43,760 --> 01:03:46,195 - Why? - I dunno. 885 01:03:46,360 --> 01:03:51,355 — Has he woken anyone up? — Yeah. You and me, for a start. 886 01:03:52,840 --> 01:03:55,354 Albert, why is Del singing? 887 01:03:56,440 --> 01:03:57,839 Yeah. 888 01:03:58,000 --> 01:03:59,434 Mmm. 889 01:03:59,600 --> 01:04:01,432 Mm-hm. 890 01:04:02,440 --> 01:04:03,999 Right. 891 01:04:04,160 --> 01:04:06,720 No, he don't know either. 892 01:04:08,520 --> 01:04:12,878 What do you mean, "Come round"? What do you want me to do — harmonise? 893 01:04:13,040 --> 01:04:16,556 There's not a song in the world Del knows all the words to, 894 01:04:16,720 --> 01:04:19,234 so he'll be finished in a minute. 895 01:04:19,400 --> 01:04:23,473 No, I'm not coming round. I'll see you tomorrow. 896 01:04:23,640 --> 01:04:26,359 I don't believe him! 897 01:04:31,800 --> 01:04:34,599 I'd better go see what's happening. 898 01:04:34,760 --> 01:04:38,640 899 01:04:38,800 --> 01:04:40,916 900 01:04:41,080 --> 01:04:46,996 (ORCHESTRA STARTS UP) 901 01:04:47,160 --> 01:04:51,279 902 01:04:52,040 --> 01:04:57,240 903 01:04:58,200 --> 01:05:03,229 904 01:05:03,400 --> 01:05:10,033 905 01:05:10,760 --> 01:05:14,640 906 01:05:15,160 --> 01:05:22,078 907 01:05:22,520 --> 01:05:27,356 908 01:05:27,520 --> 01:05:34,517 909 01:05:34,680 --> 01:05:38,071 (POLICE SIRENS WAIL) 910 01:05:39,520 --> 01:05:42,797 (COMMOTION OUTSIDE) 911 01:05:46,200 --> 01:05:51,559 - What's happening now? - They're rioting again, that's what's happening. 912 01:05:51,720 --> 01:05:54,075 Have a look for yourself! 913 01:05:54,240 --> 01:05:57,471 You're joking! I might get a brick through the window. 914 01:05:57,640 --> 01:06:02,316 We're on the 12th floor! Do you think they've invited Geoff Capes? 915 01:06:03,440 --> 01:06:06,273 Mrs Murphy said they've brought the horses out. 916 01:06:06,440 --> 01:06:10,195 Yeah, they have. The police have gone to get theirs now! 917 01:06:12,360 --> 01:06:17,275 Oi, can't you turn that telly down? I'm trying to get some sleep. 918 01:06:17,440 --> 01:06:22,469 I don't believe it! Have a look out that window and see what's happening. 919 01:06:22,640 --> 01:06:27,669 — What's the matter now? — It's a full-scale inner-city riot going on! 920 01:06:27,840 --> 01:06:31,993 They're all there — the SPG, Snatch Squads, looters, 921 01:06:32,160 --> 01:06:36,358 people who want to get on telly and, unless I'm mistaken, Kate Adie. 922 01:06:38,960 --> 01:06:42,749 Oh. What started them all off again, then? 923 01:06:42,920 --> 01:06:44,240 You! 924 01:06:45,320 --> 01:06:48,073 — Me? What have I done? — You were singing, Del. 925 01:06:48,240 --> 01:06:51,198 - Singing? Me? — Don't deny it "cause I heard you. 926 01:06:51,360 --> 01:06:53,192 Singing? 927 01:06:53,360 --> 01:06:58,480 Oh, I remember now. I was celebrating. Raquel and Damien are coming home. 928 01:06:58,640 --> 01:07:01,712 That's a good reason for a civil war! 929 01:07:02,320 --> 01:07:08,191 I was feeling euphoric. It's natural to give vent to your joy with a song. 930 01:07:08,360 --> 01:07:11,432 It was "One Voice Singing In The Darkness". 931 01:07:11,600 --> 01:07:14,558 Hark at 'em now. Bloody thousands of 'em! 932 01:07:14,720 --> 01:07:18,509 All right! OK. I'm sorry. 933 01:07:18,680 --> 01:07:21,035 That's all right, then (!) 934 01:07:21,200 --> 01:07:24,477 What do you want me to do? Tell me and I'll do it. 935 01:07:24,640 --> 01:07:27,280 Why not stand on the balcony and shout, "Stop it!" 936 01:07:27,440 --> 01:07:30,717 They won't take no notice of that, will they? 937 01:07:30,880 --> 01:07:35,954 Tell you what I'll do. I'm gonna get dressed and go down there. 938 01:07:36,520 --> 01:07:40,150 What are you gonna do? Talk sense into 'em? 939 01:07:40,320 --> 01:07:44,075 No. I'm gonna flog 'em some of this ski gear! 940 01:07:48,720 --> 01:07:51,439 There we are. Lovely jubbly. 941 01:07:52,200 --> 01:07:54,191 Come on, then. Off we go. 942 01:07:58,200 --> 01:08:00,476 Aren't you gonna check 'em? 943 01:08:00,640 --> 01:08:03,553 I don't have to. I know it's Russian video recorders. 944 01:08:03,720 --> 01:08:09,477 — Aren't you gonna check they're OK? — I've had a look at one. Seems kosher. 945 01:08:09,640 --> 01:08:11,631 Get it in there. 946 01:08:19,920 --> 01:08:22,799 Rodney, quick! Look at that woman! 947 01:08:22,960 --> 01:08:24,439 - who? - There! 948 01:08:26,400 --> 01:08:32,112 — What's the matter with you? — Hmm? It don't matter. Forget it. 949 01:08:32,280 --> 01:08:35,272 Hurry up, Rodney. Let's get this down to the garage. 950 01:08:35,440 --> 01:08:39,229 Then I've gotta go and pick up Raquel and Damien. 951 01:08:39,400 --> 01:08:42,153 — Are you all right? — Yes. Come on. 952 01:08:53,000 --> 01:08:56,709 I saw the riot on TV. What started it this time? 953 01:08:56,880 --> 01:09:02,273 I don't know. Seems to be the slightest little thing starts it all off these days. 954 01:09:03,680 --> 01:09:08,311 Still, it was all nice and quiet when I left this evening. 955 01:09:14,520 --> 01:09:16,909 (RIOTERS CHANTING) 956 01:10:17,120 --> 01:10:20,556 I thought you said it had all quietened down! 957 01:10:20,720 --> 01:10:24,236 We have to go back to Rodney and Cassandra's. 958 01:10:24,400 --> 01:10:29,315 — But we live here. — How are we gonna get through in one piece? 959 01:10:30,840 --> 01:10:33,593 Well, I'm not turning round! 960 01:10:34,520 --> 01:10:37,638 (KLAXON-TYPE BLAST) 961 01:10:40,240 --> 01:10:43,915 Hold it, hold it, hold it! It's Del Boy. 962 01:10:47,720 --> 01:10:49,711 Hold up! It's Del Boy! 963 01:10:56,880 --> 01:10:59,190 Come through, Del! 964 01:10:59,360 --> 01:11:01,795 (WESTERN—-TYPE MUSIC) 965 01:11:10,680 --> 01:11:13,991 Texo! I've got that VCR that goes with your camera. 966 01:11:14,160 --> 01:11:16,436 Nice one. Be round tomorrow. 967 01:11:16,600 --> 01:11:21,117 Oi, Alex! Tell your sister I've got her video recorder. 968 01:11:21,280 --> 01:11:24,636 - I'll tell her when I go for tea. — Lovely jubbly! 969 01:11:41,120 --> 01:11:43,760 (HORN BLARES OUT) 970 01:12:14,280 --> 01:12:17,272 (VOICES IN LIVING ROOM) 971 01:12:24,720 --> 01:12:27,473 Oh, Del. This is Beverley. 972 01:12:27,640 --> 01:12:33,079 — Beverley, this is my... This is Del. — Hi. 973 01:12:36,200 --> 01:12:37,759 (DEL) Wotcha! 974 01:12:39,160 --> 01:12:42,516 Beverley's interested in Damien's high chair. 975 01:12:42,680 --> 01:12:46,833 — How'd she find out about that? — I saw an ad in the newsagent's. 976 01:12:47,000 --> 01:12:50,311 I was out the other night on my own, nothing to do. 977 01:12:51,320 --> 01:12:54,551 - Yeah? — It's for my daughter's baby. 978 01:12:54,720 --> 01:12:57,951 — His name's Damien, as well. — Cushti. 979 01:12:58,120 --> 01:13:00,919 — Could you deliver it later? - I suppose so. 980 01:13:01,080 --> 01:13:05,199 Beverley can't afford the full amount. Could we come to an arrangement? 981 01:13:05,360 --> 01:13:08,512 I'll leave that up to you, sweetheart. 982 01:13:08,680 --> 01:13:13,038 I've just remembered, I've got to go out and meet someone. Yeah. 983 01:13:13,200 --> 01:13:15,476 Nice meeting you. 984 01:13:15,640 --> 01:13:18,598 Yeah. Bye. 985 01:13:18,760 --> 01:13:21,274 He's not usually like that. 986 01:13:21,440 --> 01:13:25,513 — Must be pressure of business. - Hmm. 987 01:13:28,120 --> 01:13:30,919 Rodney. Rodders, I got a problem. 988 01:13:31,080 --> 01:13:33,390 I got a big problem. 989 01:13:33,560 --> 01:13:36,518 You know that woman we saw in the market? 990 01:13:36,680 --> 01:13:39,069 — The one who wasn't there? — Yes, that one. 991 01:13:39,240 --> 01:13:43,120 — She's haunting me! - What d'you mean, haunting you? 992 01:13:43,280 --> 01:13:48,593 She's the one I made a date with and then gave her the elbow. 993 01:13:48,760 --> 01:13:52,196 Ever since then, she's everywhere that I look! 994 01:13:52,360 --> 01:13:55,000 The other night she was in the pub. 995 01:13:55,160 --> 01:13:58,312 This morning she was standing by a bus stop. 996 01:13:58,480 --> 01:14:00,994 And she was in the market — you saw her! 997 01:14:01,160 --> 01:14:03,959 — No, I didn't. — See what I mean? 998 01:14:04,120 --> 01:14:09,069 And today, to top it all, I went home and she's in my flat! 999 01:14:09,240 --> 01:14:12,915 - In your flat? — She'd come to buy the high chair. 1000 01:14:13,080 --> 01:14:16,914 — If she thinks I believe that! — How did she know it was for sale? 1001 01:14:17,080 --> 01:14:20,357 She said she saw the ad I placed. 1002 01:14:20,520 --> 01:14:24,229 — That is a bit far—fetched, innit (') — Exactly! 1003 01:14:24,400 --> 01:14:28,439 You crack me up! Let's look at the facts, shall we? 1004 01:14:28,600 --> 01:14:33,071 She was in this pub. Maybe, just maybe, she was having a drink. 1005 01:14:33,240 --> 01:14:37,916 And then you saw her in the market. She might have been shopping! 1006 01:14:38,080 --> 01:14:42,790 — Bit of a coincidence, though, innit? — Then you saw her at a bus stop. 1007 01:14:42,960 --> 01:14:49,036 This is just a hunch, but do you reckon she might have been waiting for a bus? 1008 01:14:49,200 --> 01:14:55,037 I don't know, do I? What I do know is she is an ex psychiatric patient. 1009 01:14:55,840 --> 01:14:58,400 —- So? — So! 1010 01:14:58,560 --> 01:15:02,076 She is a jealous woman. A woman scorned. 1011 01:15:02,240 --> 01:15:06,871 Jealous women are no problem to me normally. I can handle all that. 1012 01:15:07,040 --> 01:15:12,991 But this one is a jealous woman who's an olive short of a pizza! 1013 01:15:13,160 --> 01:15:15,629 And she knows where we live. 1014 01:15:15,800 --> 01:15:19,350 We could wake up and find we was killed while we was asleep. 1015 01:15:19,520 --> 01:15:25,072 You're letting your imagination run away with you. Does she seem odd in any way? 1016 01:15:25,240 --> 01:15:28,392 I don't know. You can judge for yourself. 1017 01:15:28,560 --> 01:15:30,915 You've got to deliver the high chair. 1018 01:15:31,080 --> 01:15:34,755 — Why have I got to go? — Because I've got a wife and kid. 1019 01:15:34,920 --> 01:15:38,436 Yeah, but I've got a wife and...thermometer. 1020 01:15:43,840 --> 01:15:45,513 Raquel? 1021 01:15:45,680 --> 01:15:48,798 Raquel, where are... Raquel? 1022 01:15:59,160 --> 01:16:02,357 (WATER BUBBLES) 1023 01:16:25,560 --> 01:16:28,678 Oh, no! Oh, my God! 1024 01:16:28,840 --> 01:16:31,309 — What's happened? — Look! 1025 01:16:33,040 --> 01:16:35,793 Albert's boiling his pants again! 1026 01:16:38,280 --> 01:16:41,989 - What's wrong, Del? — Where's the gerbil? 1027 01:16:42,160 --> 01:16:46,472 In Damien's room. He's playing with it. What is wrong with you? 1028 01:16:46,640 --> 01:16:50,076 I've got to sort this all out. I've got to sort it all out 1029 01:16:50,240 --> 01:16:54,711 I've got to go out, darling. I've got to meet someone. 1030 01:17:08,320 --> 01:17:13,349 Now, you listen to what I've got to say. You leave me and my family alone. 1031 01:17:13,520 --> 01:17:16,558 — You don't frighten me. I'm not scared. - (BUZZER) 1032 01:17:16,720 --> 01:17:18,870 Mr James. 1033 01:17:19,040 --> 01:17:23,637 - What's wrong with you, you moron? — Oh, just a couple of fillings. 1034 01:17:26,240 --> 01:17:30,279 — All right, Del? — Yeah. See you later, Trig. 1035 01:17:32,880 --> 01:17:36,510 — You were following me. — I've been following YOU? 1036 01:17:36,680 --> 01:17:39,593 - Yes! — It's the other way round. 1037 01:17:39,760 --> 01:17:44,834 Everywhere I go I see you. I go in the pub with my daughter and you're there. 1038 01:17:45,000 --> 01:17:48,038 I'm waiting for a bus and you drive by. 1039 01:17:48,200 --> 01:17:53,229 I do a bit of lunchtime shopping and surprise, surprise, there you are. 1040 01:17:53,400 --> 01:17:57,280 I went to buy a second-hand high chair and you walked in! 1041 01:17:57,440 --> 01:18:00,239 - I live there! - OK, I'll let you off that one. 1042 01:18:00,400 --> 01:18:02,914 - Right! — Listen! 1043 01:18:03,080 --> 01:18:08,029 I think, Mr Trotter, our wires have become crossed somewhere along the line. 1044 01:18:08,200 --> 01:18:11,352 — You were in a psychiatric hospital. - Yes! 1045 01:18:11,520 --> 01:18:17,994 Don't try and deny it! A friend of mine was visiting a relative there and he saw you! 1046 01:18:18,160 --> 01:18:21,312 Yes! I worked there as a receptionist! 1047 01:18:23,320 --> 01:18:26,870 — Sorry? - I'm a medical receptionist! 1048 01:18:27,040 --> 01:18:30,874 — It's what I do! — So you weren't following me? 1049 01:18:31,040 --> 01:18:34,670 — Good God! Do you think I'm hard up? - Eh? 1050 01:18:34,840 --> 01:18:37,480 Now, understand this, Mr Trotter. 1051 01:18:37,640 --> 01:18:43,033 If you follow me or pester me again, I'll take out an injunction against you. 1052 01:18:43,200 --> 01:18:46,716 This is the last we'll hear of each other! 1053 01:18:46,880 --> 01:18:50,510 Good. And I suppose I should have expected as much, 1054 01:18:50,680 --> 01:18:53,069 but that high chair's got a screw loose! 1055 01:18:55,000 --> 01:18:57,514 Well, tighten it! 1056 01:19:05,880 --> 01:19:09,794 There we are, sweetheart. Get that down you! 1057 01:19:10,760 --> 01:19:13,400 That was a lovely dinner, Raquel. 1058 01:19:13,560 --> 01:19:17,633 — Thanks! Another drink, Cassandra? — Better not. I'm driving. 1059 01:19:17,800 --> 01:19:22,954 Hm? No, no, no. You can stay over. We've got plenty of room. 1060 01:19:23,120 --> 01:19:25,589 — We can all mix in. — Shall we? 1061 01:19:25,760 --> 01:19:29,674 — Yeah. Let's enjoy ourselves. — Yes, that's it! 1062 01:19:29,840 --> 01:19:34,152 You know it makes sense! Darling, shall I put "Tubular Bells" on? 1063 01:19:34,320 --> 01:19:37,790 - No, not yet, Del. - All right. 1064 01:19:37,960 --> 01:19:40,395 She loves that "Tubular Bells". 1065 01:19:40,560 --> 01:19:43,359 Come on, Champ. It's bedtime for you! 1066 01:19:43,520 --> 01:19:47,514 Come along, let's go to bed. That's it. Off we go! 1067 01:19:47,680 --> 01:19:49,910 - Night! - Good night! 1068 01:19:50,080 --> 01:19:51,957 - Night! — Say good night. 1069 01:19:52,120 --> 01:19:56,273 - Night! - Isn't he lovely? And he's only ten! 1070 01:19:56,440 --> 01:19:59,990 Here we go! Which is your room, then? 1071 01:20:00,160 --> 01:20:05,075 — What did you get Del for Christmas? — One of those answering machines. 1072 01:20:05,240 --> 01:20:09,029 That'll save me getting any rollickings for forgetting messages. 1073 01:20:09,200 --> 01:20:12,033 This is good. How much did it cost? 1074 01:20:12,200 --> 01:20:16,592 Shh! It didn't cost anything! I swapped it for Damien's high chair. 1075 01:20:16,760 --> 01:20:19,400 I reckon you got a good deal there! 1076 01:20:19,560 --> 01:20:22,154 Does it work? 1077 01:20:23,680 --> 01:20:25,830 Hello, Beverley. This is Del Boy. 1078 01:20:27,040 --> 01:20:30,749 Um, listen, I'm sorry. I've gotta cancel our date tonight. 1079 01:20:33,520 --> 01:20:37,309 I'll give you a call some time, all right? 1080 01:20:37,480 --> 01:20:39,073 Bonjour! 1081 01:20:40,320 --> 01:20:42,880 1082 01:20:43,040 --> 01:20:45,190 1083 01:20:47,760 --> 01:20:51,071 1084 01:20:51,240 --> 01:20:54,039 Hey! What's the matter with you, eh? 1085 01:20:54,200 --> 01:20:56,271 Come on, smile! 1086 01:20:58,360 --> 01:21:03,036 (DEL) What's wrong, sweetheart? (RAQUEL) Don't touch me, Trotter! 1087 01:21:03,200 --> 01:21:04,634 (DOOR SLAMS) 1088 01:21:04,800 --> 01:21:08,919 — What have you said to her, Rodney? — Me? [ haven't said anything! 1089 01:21:09,080 --> 01:21:14,200 (CASS) Don't blame Rodney! (ALBERT) Don't look at me. I'm keeping out of it. 1090 01:21:14,360 --> 01:21:17,398 (DEL) Raquel! Are you feeling better now? 1091 01:21:17,560 --> 01:21:19,949 — (BREAKING GLASS) — (DEL) That could have hit me! 1092 01:21:20,120 --> 01:21:22,430 (RAQUEL) It was meant to hit you! 1093 01:21:22,600 --> 01:21:29,233 (CHILDREN SING) 1094 01:21:30,000 --> 01:21:36,997 1095 01:21:38,200 --> 01:21:44,151 1096 01:21:47,000 --> 01:21:52,359 (DEL) Will someone tell me what have I done? What have I done? 1097 01:21:59,240 --> 01:22:02,312 and miles and miles of carpet tiles 1098 01:22:02,480 --> 01:22:05,711 1099 01:22:05,880 --> 01:22:08,713 what's—their—names and at a push 1100 01:22:08,880 --> 01:22:11,872 from a mush in Shepherd's Bush 1101 01:22:12,040 --> 01:22:14,509 1102 01:22:14,680 --> 01:22:17,433 1103 01:22:17,600 --> 01:22:20,718 1104 01:22:20,880 --> 01:22:23,679 1105 01:22:23,840 --> 01:22:28,277 1106 01:22:28,840 --> 01:22:31,354 1107 01:22:31,520 --> 01:22:34,592 1108 01:22:34,760 --> 01:22:37,320 1109 01:22:37,480 --> 01:22:40,791 1110 01:22:40,960 --> 01:22:44,157 1111 01:22:45,760 --> 01:22:47,239 1112 01:22:48,760 --> 01:22:50,637 1113 01:22:51,800 --> 01:22:53,552